What Great Listeners Do Differently By Travis Bradberry.

Listening is a bit like intelligence—most everyone thinks they’re above average, even though that’s
impossible.
And listening is a skill you want to be great at. A recent study conducted at George Washington University shows that listening can influence up to 40% of a leader’s job performance.

“The word listen contains the same letters as the word silent.” –Alfred Brendel

There’s so much talking happening at work that opportunities to listen well abound. We talk to provide feedback, explain instructions, and communicate deadlines. Beyond the words that are spoken, there’s invaluable information to be deciphered through tone of voice, body language, and what isn’t said.
In other words, failing to keep your ears open could leave you out of the game.
And most people really do believe their listening skills are where they need to be, even though they aren’t. A study at Wright State University surveyed more than 8,000 people from different verticals, and almost all of those polled rated themselves as listening as well as or better than their co-workers. We know intuitively that many of them are wrong.
Effective listening is something that can absolutely be learned and mastered. Even if you find attentive listening difficult and, in certain situations, boring or unpleasant, that doesn’t mean you can’t do it. You just have to know what to work on. The seven straightforward strategies that follow will get you there.
Focus. The biggest mistake most people make when it comes to listening is they’re so focused on what they’re going to say next or how what the other person is saying is going to affect them that they fail to hear what’s being said. The words come through loud and clear, but the meaning is lost. Focusing may seem like a simple suggestion, but it’s not as easy as it sounds. Your thoughts can be incredibly distracting.
Put away your phone. It’s impossible to listen well and monitor your phone at the same time. Nothing will turn someone off to you like a mid-conversation text message or even a quick glance at your phone. When you commit to a conversation, focus all of your energy on the conversation. You will find that conversations are more enjoyable and effective when you immerse yourself in them.
Ask good questions. People like to know you’re listening, and something as simple as a clarification question shows that not only are you listening, you also care about what they’re saying. You’ll be surprised how much respect and appreciation you gain just by asking good questions. In addition to verifying what you’ve heard, you should also ask questions that seek more information (probing questions). Examples of probing questions include things like, “What happened next?” or “Why did he say that?” The key is to make certain your questions really do add to your understanding of the speaker's words, rather than deflecting the conversation to a different topic entirely.
Practice reflective listening. Psychologist Carl Rogers used the term “reflective listening” to describe the listening strategy of paraphrasing the meaning of what’s being said in order to make certain you’ve interpreted the speaker’s words correctly. By doing this, you give the speaker the opportunity to clarify what she meant to say. When you practice reflective listening, don’t simply repeat the speaker’s words to her. Use your own words to show that you’ve absorbed the information.
Use positive body language. Becoming cognizant of your gestures, expressions, and tone of voice (and making certain they’re positive) will draw people to you like ants to a picnic. Using an enthusiastic tone, uncrossing your arms, maintaining eye contact, and leaning towards the person who’s speaking are all forms of positive body language employed by great listeners. Positive body language can make all the difference in a conversation.
Don’t pass judgment. If you want to be a good listener you must be open-minded. Being open-minded makes you approachable and interesting to others. No one wants to have a conversation with someone who has already formed an opinion and is not willing to listen. Having an open mind is crucial in the workplace where approachability means access to new ideas and help. To eliminate preconceived notions and judgment, you need to see the world through other people’s eyes. This doesn’t require you believe what they believe or condone their behavior, it simply means you quit passing judgment long enough to truly understand what they are saying.
Keep your mouth shut. If you’re not checking for understanding or asking a probing question, you shouldn’t be talking. Not only does thinking about what you’re going to say next take your attention away from the speaker, hijacking the conversation shows that you think you have something more important to say. This means you shouldn’t jump in with solutions to the speaker’s problems. It’s human nature to want to help people, especially when it’s someone you care about. But what a lot of us don’t realize is that, when we jump in with advice or a solution, we’re shutting the other person down. It’s essentially a more socially acceptable way of saying, “Okay, I’ve got it. You can stop now!” The effect is the same.
Bringing It All Together
Life is busy, and it seems to whirl by faster every day. We all try to do a million things at once, and sometimes it works out. But active, effective listening isn’t something you can do on the fly. It requires a conscious effort.


How do you know when someone is really listening to you? And how would you rate your listening skills? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below as I learn just as much from you as you do from me.

KINGSMITH.

8 Unusual Things I Learned From Warren Buffett (plus the lesson I learned from the man who has beaten Buffet over the past 15 years)

In 2003 I really disliked Warren Buffett. Like, I personally hated him. After 9/11 he stated “We’re going to have something in the way of a major nuclear event in this country. It will happen. Whether it will happen in 10 years or 10 minutes, or 50 years … it’s virtually a certainty.”

Everyone on TV nodded their head. Why not. The man is bigger than Jesus. But listen, WB (we call each other by our initials when we whisper softly to each other) charges for insurance AGAINST NUCLEAR ATTACKS. If I were a door to door life insurance salesman you know what I would say to you? You can die tomorrow! Why not protect your kids just in case? And I don’t like when people, even Buffett, spread nuclear panic.

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But I forgave him. We hugged it out. Sort of. He never met me. And he wouldn’t pick up the phone the one time I called him. But I took a cab to his house. Hey, wouldn’t you take a cab to his house? If you could? I went to the 2003 annual meeting in Omaha. The Buffettpalooza. I think 20,000 people were supposedly there. No exaggeration. People got on line at 5am to get into the meeting. Krispy Kreme donuts were served on the line outside. Then, when it was time to go in, everyone RAN in order to get a good seat. But since they had just cleaned the floors everyone was slipping, falling, sliding as soon as they got into the building. It was exactly what would happen if everyone was running to escape, well, a nuclear attack. The night before the meeting there were some parties. I got invited by pretending to be “media”. I got a special badge. One guy had some numbers written on a napkin. “What do you think Berkshire’s ‘intrinsic value’ is?” he asked me. He had all the parts of Berkshire written on a napkin with numbers written next to them. If you didn’t know it, this is referred to as “back of the napkin” investing. I met another guy who told me a story. He bought 200 shares of Berkshire in 1976. The shares doubled in a year or so and he got nervous. So he sold 100 shares and used the proceeds to start a restaurant. The other 100 shares (assuming he still holds them because he told me he was never going to sell them) are now worth $18,000,000. So its safe to say that this guy I was speaking to is the world’s greatest investor ever. He bought 100 shares. Never had to even think again. About anything. He could’ve watched MTV and eaten nothing but Pringles for the next 35 years. And now he’s got $18,000,000 in the bank. But he has big regrets. Because he sold those other 100 shares on only a double. Oh well. We have some work to do here. Because its not easy to find unusual things about Warren Buffett. But if you didn’t notice the picture above, I wrote THE book on Warren Buffett. The one book that’s not even mentioned in the exhaustive list of books mentioned on buffett’s Wikipedia page. 1) House. I really did drive right up to his house in a cab. Here’s his house: It’s a 5 bedroom house he bought in 1956 for $31,500. Its one house among many on a normal suburban block. The guy next door to him might as well be worth $0 and his next door neighbor is worth $60,000,000,000.00 To me, that shows a lot of discipline. Every time in my life I’ve ever made money I would make the mistake of buying a home. Here’s a story about Buffett. He’s playing golf with a bunch of people and they all bet a dollar on a particular hole. Buffett won’t bet. “Why not, Warren?” they ask him, “you’re worth a gazillion.” He said, “I never break my discipline.” By contrast here’s the house of his bridge partner Bill Gates: 2) His worst investment ever. I asked this question on Twitter earlier. I said, “he lost his self-esteem and 20% in that order.” Everyone came back with very smart responses: Conoco Phillips, where he lost $1 bb (but not 20% of his net worth (not even 2% of his net worth) and certainly not his self-esteem). The Berkshire Hathaway business itself was a bust. But the stock zoomed and Buffett made the bulk of his net worth on Berkshire Hathaway. No, the answer is a Sinclair gas station he bought in 1951 with a friend of his. On the weekends he’d even squeegee people’s windows. But the Texaco station right across the street destroyed him. He lost $2000, when his savings was about $9600 at the time. He put a lot of work and love into that little baby and it all went down the drain. But that experience probably gave him the desire to have a more passive management style. A style he later mastered at Berkshire. 3) He was rejected from Harvard Business School. If you think about it, Harvard must have a pretty bad reputation by now. Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg hated it so much that they dropped out. And the one time they could’ve landed the best businessman ever, they rejected him. Like most smart people, Buffett didn’t even really want to go to college. He started out at Wharton but then switched back to his hometown college in Omaha because he didn’t like it. Then, after being rejected by the best business school in the country, he went to Columbia. The reality is that people at the genius level (Buffett, Einstein, Gates, etc) have no use for college but some cases (Buffett) reluctantly go through the motions. 4) He was a victim of reverse anti-Semitism. When he originally wanted to work for his mentor Ben Graham, on Wall Street, Graham said, “no”. Buffett was shocked and asked why. Graham told him it was because he wasn’t Jewish. Graham wanted to save a spot in the firm for a Jewish person. To be fair, Graham was worried that Jews couldn’t be hired anywhere else on Gentile Wall Street so he wanted his firm to be Jewish-friendly. The key to success though is persistence. Buffett went back to Omaha but kept pitching ideas to Graham until Graham eventually hired him. Persistence is the only sure-fire method for obtaining success. 5) Adam Smith. Its useful to look at the history of the field you want to master. When I was trading for Victor Niederhoffer I saw that he had collected just about every finance book from 1800 on. So I started reading books anywhere from 100 to 30 years old just to see what people were thinking and how finance and trading had evolved. One book, “Supermoney” was by the pseudonymous “Adam Smith” detailing random adventures he had as a reporter in finance in the late 60s, early 70s. On one adventure he decided to visit a retired investor (the book was written around 1972) who was trying to figure out what to do with the rest of his life now that he had $20 million after shutting down his hedge fund. They drove around and had a rambling conversation. At one point they passed a furniture store and the investor pointed out the window, “I’m going to own that one day.” Obviously, that investor was Warren Buffett. But Smith didn’t know then that he was dealing with WARREN BUFFETT because he wasn’t in all-caps yet. And, in fact, many years later Buffett did buy that furniture store. I thought Supermoney was fascinating for its predictive abilities. How could Smith know that Buffett would be the best investor to profile? In the next profile after Buffett , Smith wrote about a guy who was sitting in a Swiss jail. If you screw up a bank in Switzerland you are going to jail, no get-out-of-jail free cards. What was this guy doing while in jail? Trying to write some fiction. That’s where the profile ends. Paul Erdmann went on to become the bestselling finance thriller writer ever. I highly recommend his novels. In any case, it’s a great chance to see how someone described Buffett before he became BUFFETT. I mentioned this to Pamela van Giessen at Wiley (see Why I Still Write Books Even Though I’ve Lost Money on Every One of Them) and she ended up republishing the book as a Wiley Investment Classic. I give myself full credit on that one even if she disagrees with me. 6) The SEC investigated Buffett in 1974-1976 for manipulating penny stocks. This was a serious charge. And Buffett takes his reputation seriously. And the reality is (I won’t get into details but Janet Lowe covers it here), he WAS manipulating penny stocks and he sort of admits it. But he had a good reason. He was buying a company and he promised a shareholder of the company that the price wouldn’t be lower than a certain number. So he made sure the price of the penny stock never fell below that number. Or something like that. If I got the details wrong, Warren, you can put a gun to my head and fire the bullet. Suffice to say, the SEC didn’t know what to do with someone like Warren so they slapped him on the wrist (some historical versions say “the face”) . He admitted nothing but one of his companies paid a $115,000 fine. I’m sure he was nervous his reputation was going to go down the tubes but he survived to live another day. 7) Zen. Its not so bad to pick up the habits of Warren Buffett for a week and try them out: No computer on his desk No cell phone He plays bridge 12 hours a week (I guess he uses a computer at home for this). Bill Gates is often his bridge partner. Try it for one week: no computer, no cell phone, play a game for at least 12 hours for the week. 8 ) Love. Ugh, I was going to do 10 of these but I’m getting tired. There’s a fun story about how he actually took over Berkshire Hathaway. It was more ruthless than anything JR Ewing would do. And I’m not going to mention the intertwining personal relationships he had. That’s well-documented everywhere. But I give him credit for being open, unconventional, and living the life that best suited him with the least amount of stress. As his daughter, Susan, says: “Unconventional is not a bad thing. More people should have unconventional marriages.” But, one thing struck me as interesting. The annual meeting is about eight hours long. I don’t recommend it to anyone. I can’t remember anything he said except one thing. Actually I remember something Charlie Munger (Buffett’s number two) said. Something to the effect that long-term you better bury all your guns and valuables in the backyard and at that point Buffett shut him up. But one thing Buffett said always stuck with me. Someone asked him, “How do you measure success?” And all 20,000 of us leaned forward to hear what the “magic number” was. But he said this: “I measure success by how many people love me. And the best way to be loved is to be loveable.” And that, to me was the most unusual thing about Warren Buffett. ➡ Warren Buffett is one of the greatest investors of all time, but since 2000, there is an investor that has beat him at his own game. While Buffett's portfolio has grown over 100%, this little known investor's has grown by over 400%! Click here to find out who he is and what he is looking at now.

5 Practices for Cultivating More Loving Relationships By Susan Cain.

If you don’t let me go to the movies today, I’m not going to love you anymore.”

So said my 5-year-old son, normally one of the more open-hearted humans you’ll ever meet. But he’s working out power dynamics right now. And he really wanted to go to the movies. So he pulled out the biggest guns he had: the firearms of love.
Because he is 5, this power play didn’t bother me a bit, and I responded with equanimity.
I think it’s easy for most of us to react calmly to children’s emotional threats. We know that they love us; we know they don’t really mean it, or at least they only mean it in the moment; and we know they’re just hungry, tired, or upset about something that happened at school that day. With our adorable children, it’s relatively easy for us to be the warm and mature ones—the guides, the sages, the givers of unconditional love.
So why is it so hard to do this when an adult pulls a grown-up version of the same maneuver: the silent treatment, the passive-aggressive jab, or the aggressive-aggressive interrogation? Might it be possible, in the face of such insults, to treat our fellow grown-ups with the same loving constancy that we give (most of the time) our offspring?
I thought about this recently when I came across possibly the most insightful passage I have ever read, by Alain de Botton:

“To the child, it feels as if the parent is simply spontaneously on hand to comfort, guide, entertain, feed, clear up and remain almost always warm and cheerful. Parents don’t reveal how often they have bitten their tongue, fought back the tears and been too tired to take off their clothes after a day of childcare. The relationship is almost entirely non-reciprocal. The parent loves; but they do not expect the favour to be returned in any significant way… Parent and child may both ‘love’, but each party is on a very different end of the axis, unbeknownst to the child.
This is why in adulthood, when we first say we long for love, what we predominantly mean is that we want to be loved as we were once loved by a parent…This is – naturally – a disaster…we need to move firmly out of the child – and into the parental position. We need to become someone who will be willing to subordinate their own demands and concerns to the needs of another.”

We enter into adult relationships, in other words, looking for the love we had---or wished we had---as children. But not only is this an impossible goal, it’s also the wrong goal. The right goal is to love others that way. The right goal is to bite our tongues and hide our tears for the sake of the adults in our lives—not all the time, of course, but far more often than most of us do. The right goal is to lavish our fellow grown-ups with love.
Almost none of us will achieve this fully, of course. But we can get much better at it. And striving to get there is the work of a lifetime.
Here are five ways to get better at grown-up love:

1. Love yourself first. Practitioners of loving-kindness meditation know this well. The practice always begins with cultivating a loving embrace of oneself. We project onto others whatever we feel about ourselves. If we’re harsh and self-critical with ourselves, we won’t let anyone else off the hook either. If we grant ourselves love and acceptance, we open the door to treating others the same way.
2. Exclaim over whatever is exclaimable in people. I learned this from my grandfather, who was forever marveling at other people’s attributes: their height, their wit, their athleticism—all personal qualities, for him, seemed to exist in order to be celebrated. I’m a more restrained person than my grandfather was, so I don’t come by this gift as naturally as he did. But I try!
3. Remember this: “There isn’t anyone you couldn’t love once you’ve heard their story.” (The quote is from Mary Lou Kownacki and is a favorite of my friend's Courtney Martin.) Imagine a man who has committed the most evil deeds. Now imagine his childhood. Perhaps someone abused him or showed him that he didn't matter. Imagine a boy crying softly in a corner, night after night, his tears never heeded except with an impatient shove. The heart softens even if it doesn't excuse.
4. You can’t control other people’s behavior—you can only control your own. Try to walk through the world with an attitude of calm warmth that remains steady, regardless of how others greet or treat you. When you feel threatened or provoked, take a deep breath, count to 10, and try to regain this posture. If counting to 10 isn’t enough, try removing yourself from the situation for a bit, and imagine yourself in a beautiful setting (whether a familiar lake at sunset or a distant land you’ve never seen) or in the presence of a loving, nurturing person (someone you know or an imaginary being---it doesn’t matter which). When you’re ready to engage, try to separate the substance of what the person is saying from your feelings of threat or provocation. (None of this is easy, of course!) For further reading on this topic, I recommend Emotional Freedom by Judith Orloff and Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson and Joseph Grenny.
5. Try not to judge others. There is a reason that non-judgment is at the heart of many spiritual traditions. Judging others is bad for your relationships and prevents you from embracing humanity with all its many flaws. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t notice other people’s bad behavior (or your own). But there’s a huge difference between observing and condemning. Judging is an act of distancing yourself from others—and from yourself. Observing can be done impartially, even lovingly.

Having read all this, don’t expect to actually get it right! Just as we forgive our children their misdeeds while exhorting them to do better, we should do the same with ourselves. And once you’ve eased up on yourself, you’ll find it easier to do the same with your loved ones.

KINGSMITH.
I hope you find these ideas helpful. I’d love to hear your advice for cultivating loving relationships!

This is Why You're Not Getting Promoted!

It is often people ask themselves some version of this simple question:

Why am I not getting promoted?"

Let's cut to the chase with some real reasons why and strategies to get over these hurdles. Keep in mind, successful strategies also appear in the form of what NOT to do.

You're too annoying

Yes. That is correct. You actually might be too annoying for the people who have the power to promote. Time for self-awareness and self-assessment. If you're getting annoyed by this paragraph, this may be true for you.

You're not annoying enough

Of course, this doesn't apply to the annoying people. The squeaky wheel gets the grease. This saying might be an old cliche but it is true. Make it known that a promotion is what you want, and work hard towards it. Show the decision makers and everyone else that you are the one for the job. Don't forget, being the squeaky wheel is an artform.  

The Owner is not your Cousin

There are so many times people don't get a promotion they deserve. Their skill-set, time at the company, attitude, and everything else are perfect for the job! One simple ingredient is missing, they aren't related to the decision maker. I have seen time and time again, that a promotion is given to a cousin or family member who might not be as qualified as you. Unfortunately, this is part of the game. Suck it up, move on, and figure out a different angle or position at the company you want.

You Gossip too much

Gossip might be fun, but it can bite you in the ass. This is a great way to set up bad karma. If you don't gossip to begin with, you won't have to worry about covering your tracks.

You are obsessed with the wrong promotion

Stop trucking through your job with blinders on. There are more paths to success than the one promotion you are focused on. Broaden your horizons and look for other opportunities you may be fit for. Think outside the box.

No one really cares about your Job Title

There are two types of people in the corporate world when it comes to promotion. The ones driven by titles and the ones driven by money. If you are the former, your Company loves having you. This might lead you to a promotion illusion. The Job Title looks nice, but you're still taking home the same money. Get flexible, get real, and start moving UP!

You Slept with the wrong person

If anyone tells you having an affair for the sake of a job is a winning solution, they are wrong. This is a short term solution, to a long-term problem. Even this business of "work wives" and "work husbands" is a bad idea. Keep your personal world at a distance from your business world, and you will increase your luck. Stay focused, stay strong, slam dunk your next promotion!

Wow, I'm exhausted, are you?

 

KINGSMITH.

Leaders Know Which Buttons To Press By Anurag Harsh

Those of you who have kids or are kids at heart, may have seen the recent film Inside Out. It is an animation about the adventures of five “emotions” – five characters that live within a little girl’s head and dictate her reactions to the events around her. The characters are: Joy, Sadness, Fear, Disgust and Anger.

It is a simplistic version of what really goes on in our heads, but there is much truth to the basic premise. The characters’ work is based around a control panel, and they can press various buttons and pull certain levers to produce a suitable reaction from the girl. They don’t always get it “right” and this is what gives the film its charming and true-to-life quality.
The film also briefly lets us into the heads of the mother and father of the girl, and there we see slightly different versions of these five emotions. You are left with the impression that they are unique to each of us in our idiosyncrasies.
In made me think about some of the best leaders in business and how they seem to have a direct shortcut to the control panels of their teams. They understand how to influence each person on an individual level and key to this is that pressing a certain button for one person will not have the same effect as pressing it for another person.

One manager may well be motivated by the fear of failure, and although this should not be abused, every now and again, a gentle hint as to the ramifications might do the trick. On the other hand, hinting at potential failure to someone else might cause them to freeze and back away – they might need more of an encouraging and coaxing hand.
Leaders learn about how their people react in certain situations by observing them and listening to them. They build up an “instruction manual” in their heads and with every new experience, they are that little bit better informed as to which buttons to press in the future. Of course, it is impossible to get into someone’s head entirely (unless you are a hypnotist), but the key is to understand someone’s preferred behaviour patterns. When the time comes, there is less doubt about which buttons to press.

I suppose that this could be seen as the key to influencing. Doing something or saying something (“pressing the button”) to elicit the desired reaction from someone. To influence, you have to be able to touch people right in their core, reaching the essence of who they are and appealing to their “oh yeah, I thought that” mentality. Once you have done that successfully a few times, they will let you in a lot more readily in the future, and it becomes ever easier to bring them on board – even when they may not have chosen to do it themselves.
Going back to the film, the two key emotions are Joy and Sadness, and the message of the film is that sometimes emotions have to work in tandem for a contented life. Sadness is natural when you have suffered a loss (in life or in business), so forcing a smile and acting as if nothing has happened won’t help you get over it anytime soon. Sometimes you need to be “down” to be able to feel “up” again. Some may call this authenticity – being true to your emotions.
The best leaders are authentic and genuine with their people. They are upset when something has gone wrong, and they show empathy for their people when they are upset. There is nothing worse than the hyper-cheerful leader who doesn’t let anything phase them. Life is hard sometimes – if you show your team that you feel it, they will appreciate your sympathy all the more when they are having a hard time.
Getting into people’s heads is easier when they can relate to you. If they feel that you are on their side, they will let you press their buttons.
Follow Anurag on Twitter or read his other articles
Anurag Harsh is the Founding Exec of Ziff Davis (JCOM), the world's largest tech, gaming & men’s lifestyle publisher. A graduate of Wharton & MIT he has performed two sold out solo concerts at New York's Carnegie Hall & Lincoln Center. Anurag is the co-author of McGraw-Hill published bestseller “M-Commerce Security”.
KINGSMITH.

 

 

 

 

 

7 Easy Ways to Finish Strong this Year by Bridgette Hyacinth

 

7 Easy Ways to Finish Strong this Year

We are already into the third quarter of 2015 and thus far it's been a bumpy ride. Sometimes, it felt like every step forward I made, I was actually moving two steps backward. I’ve managed to clear a few hurdles whilst others blindsided me. In spite of the many ups and downs faced, I plan on finishing 2015 strong.

With 4 months left until the end of 2015 - Here are 7 Questions to make sure you are on track:

1. Have you accomplished what you set out to do this year?

2. If not, how close are you to accomplishing your goals?

3. Did you take risks or did you remain in your comfort zone?

4. Are you at the same place you were last year?

5. What did you accomplish?

6. Are you proud of your accomplishments?

7. Are you living the life you've always imagined?

If not, you may need to conduct a gap analysis to assess where you are and where you need to be. Sometimes it may mean you having to adjust your sails or just start over again.

Here are my 7 Easy Ways To Win This Year:

1. Set Goals. It’s never too late to set new goals. Write them down. If you don’t set goals you will be drifting aimlessly to wherever the winds take you. You must form a plan. Eradicate time wasters. Take risks. Have a clear road map to avoid going around in circles and to ensure you reach your destination in the most efficient and effective manner.

“ Sometimes you just have to jump out the window and grow wings on the way down.” ~Ray Bradbury

2. Run you own Race. Gauge the course and run at your own pace. Maybe it's time for you to re-define success and the criteria for winning. Don’t look to the left or right to see how others are doing. Look straight ahead to the finish line. Focus on beating your personal best. It’s important not to compare yourself to anyone. Sometimes it may appear others are progressing faster than you. Don’t worry if others overlap you. There is a season and time for everything. Have Patience. Your time will come. We all achieve milestones at different points. Someone may have accomplished goals in their 20”s whilst it took you in your 40’s to do the same. That is okay, this is the lot you were given and you did the best with it. Be at Peace with yourself and where you are. Even if you fail, remember tomorrow will be another day. Pick yourself up and head back to the drawing board.

“I am in competition with no one. I run my own race. I have no desire to play the
game of being better than anyone. I am simply trying to be better than the person I was yesterday.” ~Unknown

3. Focus on your Skills and Talents. Embrace your distinctiveness. Learn from others but don’t try to imitate them. You will be a poor replica. Find your gift. What is your core purpose? What it is you were given that no one else can do better? Allow your reason for being here to lead you to do the amazing things you were destined to do. Focus on your strengths and work on developing your shortfalls. Always seek personal development (spiritual, emotional, mental, social and physical). No one can play your role better than you. What you have to offer is incomparable and will definitely set you apart. Compromising the essence of who you are to find success can be likened to holding on to grains of sand. It will always slip through your fingers. Once you become who you truly are (self-mastery) you will make the most of this life that you have been given.

“You were born an original. Don't die a copy.” ~John Mason

4. Be Positive. The longer the course is with no end in sight, the more it becomes a mind game. Stop doubting yourself. Replace negative thoughts of inadequacy with positive affirmations. ‘I can and I will!” Changing your perspective on difficult situations will lead you to a more successful life. Keep on smiling because when you're smiling, the whole world smiles with you. Happiness increases your focus and fuels your passion. Choose happiness now. Look within but also draw strength from the energy of the supporters who are cheering you on. Forget the naysayers. You will face many obstacles along the path including fear, failure, rejection, financial woes, fatigue, loneliness and despair. But don’t give up. You may get disappointed but don’t be discouraged. Now is not the time to give up, press on with more fervency. It may be rainy right now but just remember the sun is shining above the clouds. Keep moving forward one step at a time, slowly but surely you will get there.

“There are times you will want to give up…DON’T!”

5. Form Alliances and Strategic Partnerships. Work as a team. If you can’t win in the individual undertakings, try joining a relay. Find a mentor or coach. It doesn’t matter how naturally talented you are you may still need a coach to help you achieve your full potential. Look for opportunities others may overlook. Seek out those who have traveled the path before and align yourself with those whose skills complement yours. Surround yourself with the “movers and shakers” and leaders in your field. Run with the leading pack; those who will champion you and encourage you to keep running.

"Whatever vocation you decide on, track down the best people in the world at doing it and surround yourself with them.” ~Scott Weiss

6. Work Hard -Train hard. It all comes back to working hard. There are no shortcuts in life. These all lead to dead ends. Giving 99.9% is not sufficient. You must give 100%. It will take a huge commitment and you will have to make the necessary sacrifices. It all boils down to how bad do you really want it? If I want something, I give it everything I've got. You cannot lose if you have done everything on your part. Be persistent. Have vision like an eagle and keep fighting for your dreams. Stop procrastinating or wishing and start doing. Action fuels success. I try to do at least two activities a week that will push me closer to achieving my goals. Even if it’s a small step forward, it’s still a step forward.

Ambition is the path to success. Persistence is the vehicle you arrive in. ~Bill Bradley

7. Enjoy the Journey –Enjoy the off seasons. Breathe! Life is not a 100 metre sprint but a long distance race. Prioritize, it’s important to take time to stop and smell the roses. Take breaks. Spend time with those closest to you. Show them how much you appreciate them. These are special moments that once you miss may not come around again. Additionally, don’t wait for huge victories, celebrate small successes. Help others along the way. True success can be found in our quiet selfless service to others. Sometimes it’s not about the destination but about the journey. It’s the journey that counts. In our quest for success, it’s the simple things we take for granted that really matters, like being a person of integrity, a good parent, a trusted friend...for these have become priceless attributes in our society today.

“ Take pride in how far you've come. Have faith in how far you can go. But don't forget to enjoy the journey. ~Michael Josephson

With 4 months left you can make that change to accomplish your goals. Don't live the year you lived last year, this year. Whatever your goal might be know, you have everything you need to make it happen.

The prize is sure if you endure to the end. You may not begin well but you can surely end well.

 

KINGSMITH.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mentorship Is a Business Issue. Here's Why.

In my life, I've been lucky to have had amazing mentors at almost every stage – people whose examples still guide me today. My first mentor was my father, who gave me a moral compass that has been valuable throughout my career. His simple words “never forget who you are, or where you came from” — and the way he lived those words every day — have helped me tackle some of my most pressing challenges in both business and life.
Years later, Senator Jack Danforth, one of my first bosses in Washington, taught me about the power of listening, the power of empathy, the importance of inclusiveness, and how to empower everyone around you. These two — and so many others like them — left a permanent stamp on who I am and who I've become.
In our lives, we all get plenty of advice, and probably give a lot too. But how many of us really get — or give — the necessary support to back it up? I was fortunate. My mentors showed me that a good mentor is both an advisor and a supporter. They didn't just set a good example — they cared enough to make a difference. And that’s why I believe so strongly in paying it forward.
The research backs it up. As we found in a recent joint white paper with MENTOR: The National Mentoring Partnership, young people with mentors are much more likely to be successful in school, to be prepared for careers, and to become leaders in their companies and communities.
Unfortunately, one out of every three Americans still reaches age 19 without ever having a positive mentoring relationship. That’s something we can and should change — and an area where business can play a lead role.
Yes, it’s morally right to help out those who face long odds in reaching their potential, simply because no one helped them realize they had any. But it’s also the smart thing to do. If we can help even a fraction of these young people imagine and achieve the possibilities before them, it will benefit our businesses, our economy, and our country as a whole.
Make no mistake, this is a business issue. And in my experience, there are three ways that a company can get the most — and give the most — with a strong mentoring program:
1. Mentor to build a stronger talent pipeline.
For businesses to succeed, it’s critical to recruit and develop top talent. That means, more than ever before, it’s up to us to ensure that the young people in our communities have every possible opportunity to reach their full potential.
The problem is that many students live in places where, culturally, the infrastructure for college just doesn’t exist. Many young people still don’t have family members or friends who went to college, so they don’t consider it. For those who do consider it, they don’t know how to access resources like SAT prep courses, or how best to apply to college, or how to get scholarships.
That’s why EY started a program called College MAP (Mentoring for Access and Persistence) to help young people get started on the right foot into life. Our people connect with high school juniors and seniors and help them come up with lists of schools to apply to. Then we work one-on-one on their essays, applications, and scholarships.
One of these young people was Michael, a high school senior in New York City. After being paired with an EY mentor, Michael said that the program “opened my eyes to the unlimited untouched resources around me.” Together with his mentor, Michael worked to carefully write and revise his college applications and essays — and this fall, he’ll become the first person from his family to attend college.
Michael is just one success of many. Since this program started, more than 1,100 students have participated — and 97 percent of these College MAP graduates have been accepted into a two-year or four-year college.
Mentoring is also a great way to develop a more diverse talent pool. That’s the idea behind Discover EY, a program where young people from diverse backgrounds learn more about career opportunities in our field. These students have often never met someone who worked in accounting or professional services. They may not know how rewarding that path can be — and probably can’t imagine it for themselves.
That’s why it’s so important to broaden the way these young people imagine their opportunities. With Discover EY, we cover travel expenses to bring students to the event, where we provide mentors, leadership seminars, and relationships with EY professionals — many of whom come from backgrounds just like theirs.
This is the ninth year of the Discover EY program — and we have a record number of participants. Even more exciting, nearly three-quarters of them have either already accepted or are expected to receive an EY internship offer.
2. Remember that mentoring should be a two-way street.
Mentoring is a crucial part of career development within an organization as well. When companies include mentoring programs as part of formal training for new hires, it helps demonstrate a pathway to success — and that helps new hires reach for their full potential right from the start.
That’s incredibly valuable – and not just for the mentees. Often, the mentor finds the experience useful as well. Mentoring requires you to take the time to reflect on your past experiences, and in the process you often discover useful lessons for yourself, too. Sometimes you realize the logic behind something you’ve been doing automatically for years. Sometimes you question it.
This is something I’ve noticed in so many of the organizations I’ve been part of, in business and government alike. People who sign up to become mentors become stronger, more inclusive, more thoughtful leaders. In that way, they strengthen their organizations today – and position it to become even stronger tomorrow.
3. Build the mentoring program that only you can create.
The key to a successful mentoring program is to zero in on your organizations’ unique strengths, and then translate them into a unique way to help lift young people up. You need to ask: What can we offer that no one else can?
In practice, that means the way GE designs a mentorship program should be different from the way the Ritz-Carlton does it. And in fact, these two organizations offer great examples of what’s possible here.
The Ritz-Carlton has a terrific mentoring program where students can come and learn a huge range of valuable life skills — which come up all the time in the hospitality industry. Young people can learn more about everything from food preparation with gourmet chefs, to financial literacy with the accounting department, to customer service with the front desk staff.
GE, on the other hand, works to leverage its considerable strategic planning expertise to supplement its mentoring program. As employees mentor students individually, they also work to support the educators around that student. They identify broader areas for improvement, and then work to address them by using their own Six Sigma problem-solving skills. In this way, they support individual young people, while also promoting systemic improvement to reach even more.
Across our country today, young people are entering adulthood with no one to guide them. That’s not good for them, not good for our businesses, and ominous for our country’s future. Business can and should step up to make a difference — and closing the mentoring gap is a good start.
Think about the mentors that helped point you in the right direction. Now it’s our turn to pay it forward.

By Mark Weinberger.