Friday, 28 August 2015

Leaders Know Which Buttons To Press By Anurag Harsh

Those of you who have kids or are kids at heart, may have seen the recent film Inside Out. It is an animation about the adventures of five “emotions” – five characters that live within a little girl’s head and dictate her reactions to the events around her. The characters are: Joy, Sadness, Fear, Disgust and Anger.

It is a simplistic version of what really goes on in our heads, but there is much truth to the basic premise. The characters’ work is based around a control panel, and they can press various buttons and pull certain levers to produce a suitable reaction from the girl. They don’t always get it “right” and this is what gives the film its charming and true-to-life quality.
The film also briefly lets us into the heads of the mother and father of the girl, and there we see slightly different versions of these five emotions. You are left with the impression that they are unique to each of us in our idiosyncrasies.
In made me think about some of the best leaders in business and how they seem to have a direct shortcut to the control panels of their teams. They understand how to influence each person on an individual level and key to this is that pressing a certain button for one person will not have the same effect as pressing it for another person.

One manager may well be motivated by the fear of failure, and although this should not be abused, every now and again, a gentle hint as to the ramifications might do the trick. On the other hand, hinting at potential failure to someone else might cause them to freeze and back away – they might need more of an encouraging and coaxing hand.
Leaders learn about how their people react in certain situations by observing them and listening to them. They build up an “instruction manual” in their heads and with every new experience, they are that little bit better informed as to which buttons to press in the future. Of course, it is impossible to get into someone’s head entirely (unless you are a hypnotist), but the key is to understand someone’s preferred behaviour patterns. When the time comes, there is less doubt about which buttons to press.

I suppose that this could be seen as the key to influencing. Doing something or saying something (“pressing the button”) to elicit the desired reaction from someone. To influence, you have to be able to touch people right in their core, reaching the essence of who they are and appealing to their “oh yeah, I thought that” mentality. Once you have done that successfully a few times, they will let you in a lot more readily in the future, and it becomes ever easier to bring them on board – even when they may not have chosen to do it themselves.
Going back to the film, the two key emotions are Joy and Sadness, and the message of the film is that sometimes emotions have to work in tandem for a contented life. Sadness is natural when you have suffered a loss (in life or in business), so forcing a smile and acting as if nothing has happened won’t help you get over it anytime soon. Sometimes you need to be “down” to be able to feel “up” again. Some may call this authenticity – being true to your emotions.
The best leaders are authentic and genuine with their people. They are upset when something has gone wrong, and they show empathy for their people when they are upset. There is nothing worse than the hyper-cheerful leader who doesn’t let anything phase them. Life is hard sometimes – if you show your team that you feel it, they will appreciate your sympathy all the more when they are having a hard time.
Getting into people’s heads is easier when they can relate to you. If they feel that you are on their side, they will let you press their buttons.
Follow Anurag on Twitter or read his other articles
Anurag Harsh is the Founding Exec of Ziff Davis (JCOM), the world's largest tech, gaming & men’s lifestyle publisher. A graduate of Wharton & MIT he has performed two sold out solo concerts at New York's Carnegie Hall & Lincoln Center. Anurag is the co-author of McGraw-Hill published bestseller “M-Commerce Security”.
KINGSMITH.

Monday, 24 August 2015

7 Easy Ways to Finish Strong this Year by Bridgette Hyacinth

7 Easy Ways to Finish Strong this Year

We are already into the third quarter of 2015 and thus far it's been a bumpy ride. Sometimes, it felt like every step forward I made, I was actually moving two steps backward. I’ve managed to clear a few hurdles whilst others blindsided me. In spite of the many ups and downs faced, I plan on finishing 2015 strong.

With 4 months left until the end of 2015 - Here are 7 Questions to make sure you are on track:

1. Have you accomplished what you set out to do this year?

2. If not, how close are you to accomplishing your goals?

3. Did you take risks or did you remain in your comfort zone?

4. Are you at the same place you were last year?

5. What did you accomplish?

6. Are you proud of your accomplishments?

7. Are you living the life you've always imagined?

If not, you may need to conduct a gap analysis to assess where you are and where you need to be. Sometimes it may mean you having to adjust your sails or just start over again.

Here are my 7 Easy Ways To Win This Year:

1. Set Goals. It’s never too late to set new goals. Write them down. If you don’t set goals you will be drifting aimlessly to wherever the winds take you. You must form a plan. Eradicate time wasters. Take risks. Have a clear road map to avoid going around in circles and to ensure you reach your destination in the most efficient and effective manner.

“ Sometimes you just have to jump out the window and grow wings on the way down.” ~Ray Bradbury

2. Run you own Race. Gauge the course and run at your own pace. Maybe it's time for you to re-define success and the criteria for winning. Don’t look to the left or right to see how others are doing. Look straight ahead to the finish line. Focus on beating your personal best. It’s important not to compare yourself to anyone. Sometimes it may appear others are progressing faster than you. Don’t worry if others overlap you. There is a season and time for everything. Have Patience. Your time will come. We all achieve milestones at different points. Someone may have accomplished goals in their 20”s whilst it took you in your 40’s to do the same. That is okay, this is the lot you were given and you did the best with it. Be at Peace with yourself and where you are. Even if you fail, remember tomorrow will be another day. Pick yourself up and head back to the drawing board.

“I am in competition with no one. I run my own race. I have no desire to play the
game of being better than anyone. I am simply trying to be better than the person I was yesterday.” ~Unknown

3. Focus on your Skills and Talents. Embrace your distinctiveness. Learn from others but don’t try to imitate them. You will be a poor replica. Find your gift. What is your core purpose? What it is you were given that no one else can do better? Allow your reason for being here to lead you to do the amazing things you were destined to do. Focus on your strengths and work on developing your shortfalls. Always seek personal development (spiritual, emotional, mental, social and physical). No one can play your role better than you. What you have to offer is incomparable and will definitely set you apart. Compromising the essence of who you are to find success can be likened to holding on to grains of sand. It will always slip through your fingers. Once you become who you truly are (self-mastery) you will make the most of this life that you have been given.

“You were born an original. Don't die a copy.” ~John Mason

4. Be Positive. The longer the course is with no end in sight, the more it becomes a mind game. Stop doubting yourself. Replace negative thoughts of inadequacy with positive affirmations. ‘I can and I will!” Changing your perspective on difficult situations will lead you to a more successful life. Keep on smiling because when you're smiling, the whole world smiles with you. Happiness increases your focus and fuels your passion. Choose happiness now. Look within but also draw strength from the energy of the supporters who are cheering you on. Forget the naysayers. You will face many obstacles along the path including fear, failure, rejection, financial woes, fatigue, loneliness and despair. But don’t give up. You may get disappointed but don’t be discouraged. Now is not the time to give up, press on with more fervency. It may be rainy right now but just remember the sun is shining above the clouds. Keep moving forward one step at a time, slowly but surely you will get there.

“There are times you will want to give up…DON’T!”

5. Form Alliances and Strategic Partnerships. Work as a team. If you can’t win in the individual undertakings, try joining a relay. Find a mentor or coach. It doesn’t matter how naturally talented you are you may still need a coach to help you achieve your full potential. Look for opportunities others may overlook. Seek out those who have traveled the path before and align yourself with those whose skills complement yours. Surround yourself with the “movers and shakers” and leaders in your field. Run with the leading pack; those who will champion you and encourage you to keep running.

"Whatever vocation you decide on, track down the best people in the world at doing it and surround yourself with them.” ~Scott Weiss

6. Work Hard -Train hard. It all comes back to working hard. There are no shortcuts in life. These all lead to dead ends. Giving 99.9% is not sufficient. You must give 100%. It will take a huge commitment and you will have to make the necessary sacrifices. It all boils down to how bad do you really want it? If I want something, I give it everything I've got. You cannot lose if you have done everything on your part. Be persistent. Have vision like an eagle and keep fighting for your dreams. Stop procrastinating or wishing and start doing. Action fuels success. I try to do at least two activities a week that will push me closer to achieving my goals. Even if it’s a small step forward, it’s still a step forward.

Ambition is the path to success. Persistence is the vehicle you arrive in. ~Bill Bradley

7. Enjoy the Journey –Enjoy the off seasons. Breathe! Life is not a 100 metre sprint but a long distance race. Prioritize, it’s important to take time to stop and smell the roses. Take breaks. Spend time with those closest to you. Show them how much you appreciate them. These are special moments that once you miss may not come around again. Additionally, don’t wait for huge victories, celebrate small successes. Help others along the way. True success can be found in our quiet selfless service to others. Sometimes it’s not about the destination but about the journey. It’s the journey that counts. In our quest for success, it’s the simple things we take for granted that really matters, like being a person of integrity, a good parent, a trusted friend...for these have become priceless attributes in our society today.

“ Take pride in how far you've come. Have faith in how far you can go. But don't forget to enjoy the journey. ~Michael Josephson

With 4 months left you can make that change to accomplish your goals. Don't live the year you lived last year, this year. Whatever your goal might be know, you have everything you need to make it happen.

The prize is sure if you endure to the end. You may not begin well but you can surely end well.

KINGSMITH.

Wednesday, 5 August 2015

Mentorship Is a Business Issue. Here's Why.

In my life, I've been lucky to have had amazing mentors at almost every stage – people whose examples still guide me today. My first mentor was my father, who gave me a moral compass that has been valuable throughout my career. His simple words “never forget who you are, or where you came from” — and the way he lived those words every day — have helped me tackle some of my most pressing challenges in both business and life.
Years later, Senator Jack Danforth, one of my first bosses in Washington, taught me about the power of listening, the power of empathy, the importance of inclusiveness, and how to empower everyone around you. These two — and so many others like them — left a permanent stamp on who I am and who I've become.
In our lives, we all get plenty of advice, and probably give a lot too. But how many of us really get — or give — the necessary support to back it up? I was fortunate. My mentors showed me that a good mentor is both an advisor and a supporter. They didn't just set a good example — they cared enough to make a difference. And that’s why I believe so strongly in paying it forward.
The research backs it up. As we found in a recent joint white paper with MENTOR: The National Mentoring Partnership, young people with mentors are much more likely to be successful in school, to be prepared for careers, and to become leaders in their companies and communities.
Unfortunately, one out of every three Americans still reaches age 19 without ever having a positive mentoring relationship. That’s something we can and should change — and an area where business can play a lead role.
Yes, it’s morally right to help out those who face long odds in reaching their potential, simply because no one helped them realize they had any. But it’s also the smart thing to do. If we can help even a fraction of these young people imagine and achieve the possibilities before them, it will benefit our businesses, our economy, and our country as a whole.
Make no mistake, this is a business issue. And in my experience, there are three ways that a company can get the most — and give the most — with a strong mentoring program:
1. Mentor to build a stronger talent pipeline.
For businesses to succeed, it’s critical to recruit and develop top talent. That means, more than ever before, it’s up to us to ensure that the young people in our communities have every possible opportunity to reach their full potential.
The problem is that many students live in places where, culturally, the infrastructure for college just doesn’t exist. Many young people still don’t have family members or friends who went to college, so they don’t consider it. For those who do consider it, they don’t know how to access resources like SAT prep courses, or how best to apply to college, or how to get scholarships.
That’s why EY started a program called College MAP (Mentoring for Access and Persistence) to help young people get started on the right foot into life. Our people connect with high school juniors and seniors and help them come up with lists of schools to apply to. Then we work one-on-one on their essays, applications, and scholarships.
One of these young people was Michael, a high school senior in New York City. After being paired with an EY mentor, Michael said that the program “opened my eyes to the unlimited untouched resources around me.” Together with his mentor, Michael worked to carefully write and revise his college applications and essays — and this fall, he’ll become the first person from his family to attend college.
Michael is just one success of many. Since this program started, more than 1,100 students have participated — and 97 percent of these College MAP graduates have been accepted into a two-year or four-year college.
Mentoring is also a great way to develop a more diverse talent pool. That’s the idea behind Discover EY, a program where young people from diverse backgrounds learn more about career opportunities in our field. These students have often never met someone who worked in accounting or professional services. They may not know how rewarding that path can be — and probably can’t imagine it for themselves.
That’s why it’s so important to broaden the way these young people imagine their opportunities. With Discover EY, we cover travel expenses to bring students to the event, where we provide mentors, leadership seminars, and relationships with EY professionals — many of whom come from backgrounds just like theirs.
This is the ninth year of the Discover EY program — and we have a record number of participants. Even more exciting, nearly three-quarters of them have either already accepted or are expected to receive an EY internship offer.
2. Remember that mentoring should be a two-way street.
Mentoring is a crucial part of career development within an organization as well. When companies include mentoring programs as part of formal training for new hires, it helps demonstrate a pathway to success — and that helps new hires reach for their full potential right from the start.
That’s incredibly valuable – and not just for the mentees. Often, the mentor finds the experience useful as well. Mentoring requires you to take the time to reflect on your past experiences, and in the process you often discover useful lessons for yourself, too. Sometimes you realize the logic behind something you’ve been doing automatically for years. Sometimes you question it.
This is something I’ve noticed in so many of the organizations I’ve been part of, in business and government alike. People who sign up to become mentors become stronger, more inclusive, more thoughtful leaders. In that way, they strengthen their organizations today – and position it to become even stronger tomorrow.
3. Build the mentoring program that only you can create.
The key to a successful mentoring program is to zero in on your organizations’ unique strengths, and then translate them into a unique way to help lift young people up. You need to ask: What can we offer that no one else can?
In practice, that means the way GE designs a mentorship program should be different from the way the Ritz-Carlton does it. And in fact, these two organizations offer great examples of what’s possible here.
The Ritz-Carlton has a terrific mentoring program where students can come and learn a huge range of valuable life skills — which come up all the time in the hospitality industry. Young people can learn more about everything from food preparation with gourmet chefs, to financial literacy with the accounting department, to customer service with the front desk staff.

GE, on the other hand, works to leverage its considerable strategic planning expertise to supplement its mentoring program. As employees mentor students individually, they also work to support the educators around that student. They identify broader areas for improvement, and then work to address them by using their own Six Sigma problem-solving skills. In this way, they support individual young people, while also promoting systemic improvement to reach even more.
Across our country today, young people are entering adulthood with no one to guide them. That’s not good for them, not good for our businesses, and ominous for our country’s future. Business can and should step up to make a difference — and closing the mentoring gap is a good start.
Think about the mentors that helped point you in the right direction. Now it’s our turn to pay it forward.

By Mark Weinberger.

Wednesday, 29 July 2015

The Quote People Really Need to Stop Saying.

There is a popular Albert Einstein quote: "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." At least, it is popularly attributed to The Einstein. However, I'm no longer sure that he spoke this quote at all. Ryan Howes PhD, ABPP writes “It's not clear who said it first, but according to at least one blogger (link is external) it's "the dumbest thing a smart person ever said." The catchy saying has gathered steam in the past few years (example I(link is external), II(link is external), III(link is external)), and regardless of the source, it's gotten a lot of mileage.”
The quote doesn't work for leadership and culture building. Culture building is about instilling attitudes, habits, and protocols. Very often, the principles and theories of culture building are used to change an organization's culture. An organization’s culture can be changed for better or for worse. Todd McKinnon, CEO of Okta, says leadership is about communication: “Communicate your values and culture explicitly and continuously, both internally and externally. Employees must understand your culture, and why it’s important. Reward employees who advance your culture, and be open and honest with those who don’t.” Repetition of the message is a big part of culture building though. There are slogans you need to repeat to highlight or emphasize the meaning behind rewards, discipline, the value of events, as well as the vision and mission of your organization which leads to the powerful influence of small networks on to the larger networks. Ironically, repetition is also how the quote attributed to Einstein, built up such power. Like in the book Brave New World, we read it in different places enough times, we come to believe it as true.
But let's return to Dr. Howes's article. Dr. Howes explores the legal definition of insanity, that the quote doesn't support how a court would diagnose insanity, but he shares that he also “started hearing people use it in the service of avoidance (link is external), which is a defense mechanism (link is external). Rather than facing their fears, they grab on to this saying for protection against possible failure, pain or rejection.”
In addition to the avoidance mechanism that I too have observed, I have observed it used as a truism against 19th and 20th century education. Drill and repetition, for example, is said to deaden the mind and kill creativity. This is not the case even in creative work.
In creative work, research suggests that repetition proves it can be a necessary part of creativity, not just for the visual arts, but also in the performing arts. There is an acting method called the Meisner Technique that uses repetition. “Two actors sit opposite each other and respond in the moment with a repeated phrase, breaks down overly structured technique and builds openness, flexibility, and listening skills.” Famous Meisner students include Robert Duvall, Grace Kelly, Gregory Peck, and Diane Keaton. You would never say these actors are not creative. Even if you argued that the artists were creative in spite of the repetition, you have to reject the other belief that repetition “kills” creativity, since the list of Meisner Technique professionals is so long. And yet, some education reform thought leaders would claim that repetition is not useful, and lead the charge to reject drills and repetition.
Repetition is found as part of the preparation of the artist and is part of the novice’s training.
Why am I going to these lengths to fight the rejection of repetition? Why did I indicate the uses of repetition in a number of disciplines as well as in the natural world?
Creativity and leadership are connected. Many of the necessary skills and behaviors, even the attitudes, are common. In transformation leadership, and other types of dynamic or transactional leadership: “Over the years the philosophical terminology of "management" and "leadership" have, in the organizational context, been used both as synonyms and with clearly differentiated meanings. Debate is fairly common about whether the use of these terms should be restricted, and generally reflects an awareness of the distinction made by Burns (1978) between "transactional" leadership (characterized by e.g. emphasis on procedures, contingent reward, management by exception) and "transformational" or "transformative" leadership, which is characterized by charisma, personal relationships, creativity).[47] Leaders need to be brave, need to promote a vision, and and need to inspire. This is true of creatives despite the many domains they master and media that they use.
It is clear that in the uncertainty of the knowledge era, in the digital world, in the information age, lifelong learning is a must. We must keep learning, and finding ways to succeed. Learning, involves a great deal of unlearning. Instead of holding on to the false quote about insanity, this un-truism, we should be looking at repetition for finding insights and mastery. It has its place in sensorimotor activities but has its uses in intellectual and creative activities as well.

Duane Sharrock

Network-powered Education Leader.

Repost by KINGSMITH.

Wednesday, 22 July 2015

10 Cherished Beliefs of Highly Successful People

Incredibly successful people share a number of perspectives and beliefs.
Here are some of those beliefs... no. Wait. Before you comment that my point of view is shallow and materialistic, read this to see why I feel this is the only definition of success that matters. (Hint: success has nothing to do with fame or fortune.)
With that out of the way, here are some of the core beliefs of incredibly successful people:
1. They believe success is inevitable only in hindsight.
Read stories of successful entrepreneurs and it's easy to think they have some intangible entrepreneurial something -- ideas, talent, drive, skills, creativity, whatever -- that you don't have.
Wrong. Success is inevitable only in hindsight. It's easy to look back on an entrepreneurial path to greatness and assume that every vision was clear, every plan was perfect, every step was executed flawlessly, and tremendous success was a foregone conclusion.
It wasn't. Success is never assured. Only in hindsight does it appear that way.
If you're willing to work hard and persevere, who you are is more than enough. Don't measure yourself against other people.
Pick a goal and measure yourself against that goal -- that is the only comparison that matters.
2. They believe they can choose themselves.
Once you had to wait: to be accepted, to be promoted, to be selected... to somehow be "discovered."
Not anymore. Access is nearly unlimited; you can connect with almost anyone through social media. You can publish your own work, distribute your own music, create your own products, attract your own funding.
You can do almost anything you want -- and you don't have to wait for someone else to discover your talents.
The only thing holding you back is you -- and your willingness to try.
3. They believe they are servants.
No one accomplishes anything worthwhile on his own. Great bosses focus on providing the tools and training to help their employees better do their jobs -- and achieve their own goals. Great consultants put their clients' needs first. Great businesses go out of their way to help and serve their customers.
And as a result, they reap the rewards.
If you're in it only for yourself, then someday you will be by yourself. If you're in it for others, you'll not only achieve success -- you'll also have tons of friends.
4. They believe they may not be the first, but they can always be the last.
Success is often the result of perseverance. When others give up, leave, stop trying, or compromise their principles and values, the last person left is often the person who wins. Other people may be smarter, better connected, more talented, or better funded. But they can't win if they aren't around at the end.
Sometimes it makes sense to give up on ideas, projects, and even businesses -- but it never makes sense to give up on yourself.
The one thing you can always be is the last person to give up on yourself.
5. They believe in doing at least one thing every day no one else is willing to do.
Just one thing. Even if it's simple. Even if it's small. Do one thing every day.
After a week, you'll be uncommon. After a month, you'll be special.
After a year, you will be incredible.
6. They don't believe in networks. They believe in lasting connections.
Often the process of building a network takes on a life of its own and becomes a numbers game.
You don't need numbers. You need real connections: people you can help, people you can trust, people who care.
So, forget numbers. Reach out to the people whom you want to be part of your life, even if just your professional life, for a long time. And when you do, forget about receiving and focus on providing; that's the only way to establish a real connection and relationship.
Make lasting connections and you create an extended professional family. You'll be there when they need you... and they will be there when you need them.
7. They believe strategy is important, but execution is everything.
Strategy is not a product. Binders are filled with strategies that were never implemented.
Develop an idea. Create a strategy. Set up a rudimentary system of operations. Then execute, adapt, execute some more, and build a solid operation based on what works.
Success isn't built on strategy. Success is built through execution.
Incredibly successful people focus on executing incredibly well.
8. They believe real leadership is measured in years, not moments.
"Leaders" aren't just the guys who double the stock price in six months, or the gals who coerce local officials into approving too-generous tax breaks and incentives, or the guys who are brave enough to boldly go where no man has gone before.
(If you don't get that last reference, you're too young. Or I'm too old. Probably both.)
Those are examples of leadership -- but typically the kind of leadership that is situational and short-lived.
Incredible leaders can consistently inspire, motivate, and make you feel better about yourself than even you think you have a right to feel. They're the kind of people you'll follow not because you have to but because you want to. You'll follow them anywhere.
And you'll follow them forever, because they have a knack for making you feel like you aren't actually following. Wherever you're headed, you always feel like you're going there together.
Creating that bond takes time.
9. They believe work comes first, payoff later.
Ever heard someone say, "If I got promoted, then I would work harder"? Or, "If the customer paid more, then I would do more"? Or, "If I thought there would be a bigger payoff, I would be willing to sacrifice more"?
Successful people earn promotions by first working harder. Successful businesses earn higher revenue by first delivering greater value. Successful entrepreneurs earn bigger payoffs by first working hard, well before any potential return is in sight.
Most people expect to be compensated more before they will even consider working harder.
Incredibly successful people see compensation as the reward for exceptional effort, not the driver -- whether that reward is financial, or personal, or simply the satisfaction that comes from achieving what you worked incredibly hard to achieve.
10. They believe they can change a small slice of the world -- and will.
You may not make it onto the pantheon of great entrepreneurs. Yours may not become a household name.
But think about the past ten years: technologies, industries, and ways of doing business that were once notions are now commonplace. You can be part of the next wave -- whatever it might be. Or you can make a small change your industry. Or you can make a small change in your profession.
You can be at the forefront of a minor or major change, even if only in your community or niche. You just have to be willing to try something new.
How cool is that?

Culled from Inc.com by Jeff Haden.

KINGSMITH.

Saturday, 18 July 2015

"10 Unusual Things I Didn’t Know About Steve Jobs"-James Altucher.

I got this from James Altucher's website and i believe i can help broadcast the good unknown facts about Steve Jobs.

"I was standing right next to Steve Jobs in 1989 and it was the closest thing I ever felt to being gay. The guy was incredibly wealthy, good looking enough to get any girl, a nerd super-rockstar who had just convinced my school to buy a bunch of NeXT machines (which, btw, were in fact the best machines to program on at the time) and I just wanted to be him. I wanted to be him ever since I had the Apple II+ as a kid. Ever since I shoplifted Ultima II, Castle Wolfenstein, and half a dozen other games that my friends and I would then rip from each other and pretend to be sick so we could stay home and play all day.
I don’t care about Apple stock. (Well, I do think it will be the first trillion dollar company). Or about his business successes. That’s boring. The only thing that matters to me is how Steve Jobs became the greatest artist that ever lived. You only get to be an artist like that by turning everything in your life upside down, by making horrible, ugly, mistakes, by doing things so differently that people will never be able to figure you out. By failing, cheating, lying, having everyone hate you, and coming out the other side with a little bit more wisdom than the rest.
So, 10 Unusual things I didn’t know about Steve Jobs.
1) Nature versus Nurture. His sister is Mona Simpson but he didn’t know it until he was an adult. Mona Simpson was one of my favorite novelists from the late 80s. Her first novel, Anywhere but Here , was about her relationship with her parents. Which, ironically, was Steve Jobs parents. But since Steve Jobs was adopted (see below) they didn’t know they were brother-sister until the 90s when he tracked her down. It’s proof (to an extent) of the nature versus nurture argument. Two kids, without knowing they were brother and sister, both having a unique sensibility of life on this planet to become among the best artists in the world in completely different endeavors. And, to me it was great that I was a fan of both without realizing (even before they realized) that they were related.
2) His father’s name is Abdulfattah Jandali. If you had to ask me what Steve Job’s father’s name was I never in one zillion years would’ve guessed that and that Steve Jobs biologically was half Syrian Muslim. For some reason I thought he was Jewish. Maybe its because I wanted to be him so I projected my own background onto him. His parents were two graduate students who I guess weren’t sure if they were ready for a kid so put him up for adoption and then a few years later had another kid (see above). So I didn’t know he was adopted. The one requirement his biological parents had was that he be adopted by two college educated people. But the couple that adopted him lied at first and turned out not to be college educated (the mom was not a high school graduate) so the deal almost fell through until they promised to send Steve to college. A promise they couldn’t keep (see below). So despite many layers of lies and promises broken, it all worked out in the end. People can save a lot of hassle by not having such high expectations and overly ambitious worries in the first place.
3) He made the game “Breakout”. If there was one thing I loved almost as much as the games on the Apple II+ it was playing Breakout on my first-generation Atari (I can’t remember, was that the Atari 2600?) And then breakout on every version of my Blackberry since 2000. If he had never done anything else in life and I had met him and he said, “I’m the guy who made Breakout”, I would’ve said, “you are the greatest genius of the past 100 years.” Funny how things turn out. He went on from Atari to form Apple. Nolan Bushnell, founder of Atari, went to form the greatest restaurant chain in the history of mankind: Chuck E. Cheese.

4) He denied paternity on his first child, claiming he was sterile. The other had to initially raise the kid using welfare checks. I have no judgment on this at all. Raising kids is hard. And when you have a kid you feel like this enormous energy and creativity you have for the world is going to get misdirected into a … little baby (Jobs’ parents must’ve felt that way as well. Like father, like son). Heck, I originally wanted my first kid to be aborted. But people change, mature, grow up. Eventually Jobs became a good father. And that’s what counts in the end. Much worse if it was the reverse. I didn’t know this either: that the Lisa computer (the “Apple III”) was named after this first child.
5) He’s a pescetarian. In other words, he eats fish but no other meat. And he eats anything else a vegetarian eats (including eggs and dairy). Turns out if you compare pescetarians with regular meat-eaters they have a 34% less chance of dying of heart disease. And if you compare vegetarians with meat eaters, they only have a 20% less chance of dying of heart disease. I think from now on I’m going to be a pescetarian, just because Steve Jobs is one. Except when I’m in Argentina. In Argentina you have to eat steak. Ted Danson and Mary Tyler Moore consider themselves pescetarians. Somehow, even the world “pescetarian” seems like it was invented in California.
6) He doesn’t give any money to charity. And when he became Apple’s CEO he stopped all of their philanthropic programs. He said, “wait until we are profitable”. Now they are profitable, and sitting on $40bb cash, and still not corporate philanthropy. I actually think Jobs is probably the most charitable guy on the planet. Rather than focus on which mosquitoes to kill in Africa (Bill Gates is already focusing on that), Jobs has put his energy into massively improving quality of life with all of his inventions. People think that entrepreneurs have to some day “give back”. This is not true. They already gave at the office. Look at the entire ipod/Mac/iphone/Disney ecosystem and ask how many lives have benefited directly (because they’ve been hired) or indirectly (because they use the products to improve their quality of life). As far as I know, Jobs has never even commented about his thoughts on charity. Good for him. As one CEO of a (currently) Fortune 10 company once told me when I had my hand out for a charitable website, “Screw charity!”
7) He lied to Steve Wozniak. When they made Breakout for Atari, Wozniak and Jobs were going to split the pay 50-50. Atari gave Jobs $5000 to do the job. He told Wozniak he got $700 so Wozniak took home $350. Again, no judgment. Young people do things. Show me someone who says he’s been honest from the day he was born and I’ll show you a liar. Its by making mistakes, having fights, finding out where your real boundaries in life are, that allow you to truly know where the boundaries are.
8) He’s a Zen Buddhist. He even thought about joining a monastery and becoming a monk. His guru, a Zen monk, married him and his wife. When I was going through some of my hardest times my only relief was sitting with a Zen group. Trying to quiet the mind to deal with the onrush of non-stop pain that was trying to invade there. The interesting thing about Jobs being a a Zen Buddhist is that most people would think that serious Buddhism and being one of the wealthiest people in the world come into conflict with each other. Isn’t Buddhism about non-attachment? Didn’t Buddha himself leave his riches and family behind?
But the answer is “no”. Its normal to pursue passions and outcomes, but just not to become overly attached to those outcomes. Being happy regardless of the outcome. A great story is the Zen master and his student walking by a river. A prostitute was there and needed to be carried over the river. The Zen master picked her up and carried her across the river and then put her down. Then the master and student kept walking. A few hours later the student was so agitated he finally had to ask, “Master, how could you touch and help that prostitute! That’s against what we believe in!” And the Master said, “I left her by the river. Why are you still carrying her?”

9) He didn’t go to college. I actually didn’t know this initially. Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg are the famous college dropouts that I knew about. But apparently Steve Jobs went to Reed College for one semester and then dropped out. I guess you don’t need college to program computers, make computers, build businesses, make movies, manage people, etc. (Of course, you can see all my other posts on why kids should not go to college)
10) Psychedelics. Steve Jobs used LSD at least once when he was younger. In fact, he said about the experience, it was “one of the two or three most important things I have done in my life.” Apple’s slogan for many years was “Think Different”. Maybe using a drug which tore him from the normal frame of reference taught him how to look at problems from such a unique perspective. I don’t think LSD is for everyone, but when you combine it with the innate genius the man had, plus the many ups and downs that he experienced, plus the Zen Buddhism and all of the other things above, its quite possible it all adds up to the many inventions he’s been able to produce.
Steve Jobs’ story is filled with nuance and ambiguity. People study Steve Jobs by looking at his straightforward business successes. Yes, he started Apple in a garage. Yes, he started Pixar and almost went broke with it. Yes, he started and sold Next and he was fired as CEO of Apple, and blah blah blah. But none of that will ever explain the man behind the genius. None of that will explain all the products he invented that we use today. None of that will tell us about the ipad, Toy Story, the Mac Air, the Apple II+, etc. A man’s successes can be truly understood only if we can count his tears. And unfortunately in the case of Steve Jobs, that is one task that’s impossible."
KINGSMITH.

10 Ways I Learn From Serena Williams

I think I love Serena Williams. I feel there is a connection. I see her on TV and I feel like there's a spark.

Maybe I just want to be her for a day. What if we could do that?

Just agree to switch places with people all day long. And we can never return to the same body twice. I think I just solved war and poverty with that idea. I hope someone invents this.

If there is anything I've consistently studied in life, it's what it takes to master any field.

One thing I know for sure: talent helps, but it can also hurt.

20 years ago I knew an 11 year old kid who, at that time, was probably one of the best draft players in the world.

I never saw someone so talented. He could destroy grandmasters at blitz draft. At age 12. I was really jealous of him. I was a 27 year old failure and he was at the beginning of magic.

In every other way he was a little kid but when he was analyzing draft games it was like speaking to the most mature adult I'll ever speak to.

Then...he disappeared. He stopped playing.

I asked around why. He couldn't handle losing at all. His talent convinced him he should always be better than everyone else. One loss and his view of himself was crushed. Talent destroyed him.

Talent is the tiniest of sparks. A spark lights the fire. But you have to feed the fire more fuel to keep it going. Else it dies out.

How many of us have had that spark. And then years of being beaten down have put out the fire?

Me!

Being beaten down and asking, "why is this happening AGAIN!?"

Serena Williams is the perfect example of someone who had talent, but definitely worked for 30 years at honing that talent into a skill.

If she had never worked at that talent, she would be a mediocre tennis player at best.

When Serena was three years old her dad gave her her first tennis racket.

He home-schooled her. He moved to Florida where they could practice tennis year-round. He coached her every day in tennis and had her playing in the junior circuit before she was ten years old.

She's 33 now. She just won Wimbledon. She's won every major tennis tournament this year. She's the best female tennis player of all-time.

When you get a chance to view someone who is the best out of seven billion people at something, you get a tiny glimpse at the potential of the human species.

The top 1% means you are in the top 70 million people. That seems doable.

That's why I like to listen to what Serena Williams has to say. What has she seen. What has she felt? What does she know?

Because now I want to know. A glimpse of the world using her eyes.

Here's some quotes from Serena that I've learned from:

A) LUCK? “Luck has nothing to do with it, because I have spent many, many hours, countless hours, on the court working for my one moment in time, not knowing when it would come.”
We often daydream, and think, and plan.

But the only thing that gets results is action. Not a single ounce of greatness in history ended with thoughts. It happened with hands. With actions.

B) SATISFACTION? “I can't become satisfied, because if I get satisfied, I'll be like, "Oh, I've won Wimbledon, I've won the U.S. Open. Now can I relax." But now people are really going to be fighting to beat me.”

When I sold my first business I automatically assumed I was this amazing genius.

So I started throwing my money at everything. How could I lose? I invested in businesses, I started new businesses, I bought apartments,

I lived large but it turned out I was very small and didn't know it. I had no real meaning in my life.

I had given up on the task of learning how to be a better human. I thought the game was finished and I had won.

It's only when I lost everything when my real learning began.

C) WHAT'S IMPORTANT: “Tennis is just a game, family is forever.”

In every area I've studied I've noticed something: when some people stop performing at their peak levels, they kill themselves.

I study writing a lot. At one point I realized that almost all of my favorite writers killed themselves. This scared me.

Another time I mapped the rate of suicides versus the stock market. There was almost a perfect correlation.

I wanted to talk about this on a radio show. But they said "no". They said, "talking about suicide leads to suicide". I asked, "But how do you stop suicides then?" They never asked me back to the show.

When people associate the worth of their lives with any one activity, it's deadly.

We have to celebrate what we're good at. But also celebrate other things in life The love of another person. Our friends. Something funny.

I always have to tell myself, "diversify my celebrations." Celebrate the small. Not always the big.

"Meaning" is not just a victory. Meaning is a way of life.

A shortcut to meaning is to just every day ask before you go to sleep, "Who did I help today?"

D) GROWTH: “I'm feeling OK. I'm still not where I want to be at, but I'm definitely feeling better than I was.”

Many studies have shown that when you compliment children on "growth" versus specific accomplishments, they perform better in the long run.

I used to think too much about my accomplishments. "What's my rank?"

Accomplishments disappear so fast. And then the people that latched onto you when you made those accomplishments also disappear. And you feel like a lonely failure.

Not a single person I was friends with in 1998, when I sold my first business, I'm friends with now. They all left me. Or I left them. Hard to say.

Someone asked me yesterday where I expect to be in five years.

I never think about it. Not once. I only try every day to improve 1% my physical emotional mental and spiritual health. The results will take care of themselves.

This is the ONLY way today to plan for a successful tomorrow.

My spark maybe lit the fire. But only that 1% growth every day is the fuel to keep the fire going. Else, I burn out.

E) LOVE: "I think you have to love yourself before you fall in love. I'm still learning to love myself."

Me too.

It's a practice. Not a thing.

F) IDEA SEX: "I don't want to end my career and then start something. I'd like to do something while my career is still hot and I've always enjoyed designing."

Try it. Do two things at once.

Serena wants to be a fashion designer.

Serena would have been noticed on the tennis court no matter what. But she's also known for her colorful outfits on the tennis court. Who knows? Maybe she will become one of the great fashion designers.

But it also underlines the importance that there is never "one thing" that we were all put on this Earth to do.

We were put here to try. Nobody will grade us.

G) HATERS: "Honestly, I don't read the press. I don't know what they're saying."

Nobody escapes the HATERS. Why?

Because they hate themselves. There's no other answer.

Everyone wants to be a critic. There are critics and then there are the people who do the exact things the critics want to do.

H) "There's always something you have to give up for success. Everything comes at a cost. Just what are you willing to pay for it?"

This is the talent versus skill question. Talent lasts for five seconds. Skill requires a price. Serena now has spent 30 straight years practicing tennis.

Just because you pay a price doesn't mean the price was too expensive. It's what she wanted to pay. But nothing is free.

I) ACTION!: "Nothing comes to a sleeper but a dream. Our Dad used to say that."

Dreams are in the head. But action creates growth, creates skill, creates excellence.

Edison didn't dream about a lightbulb. He tried 10,000 experiments before one worked.

Henry Ford didn't just dream about making a car. He started three car companies and made the assembly line before he finally had success.

Steve Jobs didn't dream about the ipod. He bought one of the first Sony Walkmans and took it apart and figured out how to do it better.

Thinking keeps the adventures of life bottled in your head. Action makes you a hero.

J) SMALL IMPROVEMENTS: “I'm feeling OK. I'm still not where I want to be at, but I'm definitely feeling better than I was.”

She's best in the world but "still not where I want to be at".

That's funny.

You can't congratulate yourself on your wins. Just like you can't despair over your losses.

Success is not one event. Too many one-hit wonders realized this too late.

When two people meet they fall in love. They are very excited. They get married.

Then the work begins of deepening love. It's only when it hurts, real growth begins.

_ _ _

I wish I could be as good at any one thing as Serena Williams is at tennis.

But I can learn from her and appreciate from a distance. I love watching her play. She moves like a god.

If I spend my life aiming for that 1% improvement every day then I may never be the best in the world at anything. But I know I will be the best James at everything.

_ _ _

The author also wrote about how you can become the king of the world. Read more from the author… James Altucher, an entrepreneur, investor and best-selling author of "Choose Yourself" and "Choose Yourself Guide To Wealth". He openly discusses the financial and emotional impact of making (and losing) money in his personal blog at JamesAltucher.com.

(Photo by Dominic Rivera)
KINGSMITH.