How To Live Job Gracefully By

While some people approach it like the end of a relationship, leaving your job shouldn’t be as dramatic as a break up. There are ways to make sure both sides learn from their experiences together without leaving an employee feeling unappreciated or an employer feeling upset. There are steps that you can take to help you keep emotion out of your departure while letting your previous employer know why you’re leaving, and maybe help them improve things for the co-workers you’re moving on from.
Ask yourself why you’re leaving
People leave their jobs for many reasons: they may feel like they’re underpaid or that their careers have stalled; there could be a problem with a manager; or, the company might have undergone changes and they just don’t feel like they fit in anymore. Sometimes passion is the best indicator of whether it’s time to move on. If you dread going back to work every Monday, or you find yourself phoning it in, it’s probably time to go. And that’s okay.
Having an honest conversation with yourself about why it is time for you to leave will make it easier to explain your decision clearly without getting emotional, or even potentially allow you to discuss these problems internally to see if they can be fixed before you start looking for jobs with other companies.
Remember, it is just business
When you're leaving a company, think of it as a business relationship coming to an end. It’s not personal, even if you’ve come to see your co-workers as family. You probably want some of those relationships to continue even after you’ve left, and the personal relationship doesn’t have to change just because you’ve decided to explore other professional opportunities. You have a lot to lose and very little to gain by getting too emotional when you leave a company. The people you work with become part of your professional network, and you never know when you’ll run into someone again.
Keeping emotion out of your departure also helps any constructive advice you might have to improve the company experience from getting tainted. If things become heated, instead of listening to what you had to say, your previous employer might just be happy that you’ve left. Leaving emotion out of the equation makes it easier for your voice to be heard as you leave the company.
Use tact if you’re looking for other jobs
Looking for other jobs can feel a little dishonest. There you are, working at one company while trying to land a position with another. Some people don’t want to feel like this, so they tell their bosses that they’ve started to seek positions with other companies. But sometimes that level of honesty isn’t always the best idea or even an option.
It becomes a tricky balancing act. Sometimes it’s important to signal to your company that you’re looking for other opportunities, especially if you’re in a leadership position and have been working there for a while. But there will be times when telling someone you’re thinking about leaving can prompt concerns about team morale and questions about your own productivity. So if you have the trust and have built a solid relationship with your manager, consider being honest about your situation, but realize it’s not going to be an easy conversation to have.
Don’t overestimate your importance
Recognize that the company can and will run without you. It might seem like nothing could get done if you’re not there, but the reality is usually the opposite. When you leave a company, hopefully with a replacement lined up, life will go on fine without you. That might be hard to accept, but it’s true.
I sometimes ask people we’re hiring if they can start at Credit Karma in two weeks. Sometimes they tell me that they’ve given their two weeks’ notice, but that they might stay on several weeks longer because they don’t want to leave anyone in a lurch. I appreciate the loyalty on display. I think I’d want that too, but you have to cut off the relationship somewhere. Move on. Take accountability for your last projects; rearrange things around your end-date; and, make things happen. Otherwise, you’re just delaying the inevitable.
Focus on the positives of your experience in the job
At Credit Karma, not only do we use exit interviews to solicit feedback, but also to give employees some closure. If there's anything they need to get out of their system to help them move on, we encourage them to tell us what’s on their mind. We don’t want people feeling badly as they leave. Usually, handing in your notice and focusing on the future is a relief for people as they get excited about their next steps and sentimental about their time in the job.
As you leave a job, focus on the things that you’ve learned and what you’ve accomplished. It’s good practice for an employer to recognize the work you’ve done for them, rather than chastise you for leaving. It should be a celebration of sorts, which might never arrive if you make your departure too personal.
KINGSMITH.

If Hard Work Doesn't Guarantee Success, What Does? By Liz Ryan.

For decades we heard that hard work was the number-one factor in a person's success or failure, in business or in any other arena.
We worked hard in school and were rewarded with good grades and approval from the grown-ups, so we brought our hard-work mindset into the workplace.
Hard work is important. I subscribe to the old adage that anything worth doing is worth doing well. Still, I learned long ago that hard work is not the key to success -- not by itself. I hope you got that memo, also!
Many people have gotten the memo by working incredibly hard for a company that turned around and laid them off.
They invested enormous time, energy, heart and brain cells in a job that they thought would take their career in all the right places.
Then their job disappeared or they ruined their health from overwork and have little to show for it. Millions of people are in the same boat.
That's okay! We learn from our experiences, positive and negative. Any snake that bites you once won't get you a second time.
Once you've given heart and soul to a job that disappeared out from under you, you know something important. You're going to be more wary next time, and more protective of yourself. Who could blame you for that?
Mother Nature is the best teacher!
Hard work is not enough. Look how many people around you work hard and invest in professional development and make sacrifices to succeed at work -- and how frustrated they become when their efforts don't bear fruit.
They are overlooked for opportunities or their hours are cut, even though a few months earlier the boss may have said "I could see you being a manager here."
It's exhausting just reading the signals that fly through the air at work sometimes. It's too hard, and I don't want you to spend your precious mojo that way. You have bigger fish to fry than worrying about what boss thinks about you this week.
You can't depend on other people to take your career forward. You have to power your forward motion by yourself. Your success in business or in any endeavor relies on these three things:

• Your passion for your mission
• Your ability to take complete responsibility for everything that happens to you -- and to learn from it, and
• Your sensitivity to changes in your environment and in your own heart.

Hard work as a key to success doesn't even make our Top Three list, because if somebody has to tell you to work hard, then something about your mission or your commitment to it is already off-kilter.
No one has to tell us to work hard when we're working toward our mission, and when our work is aligned with who we are. It isn't even work when we love what we do. It's art!
Any job can have your creative spark in it, and you can bring your heart energy to any job, as well as your great ideas. The job description is important.
The important thing is your connection to the work, and the the energy in your workplace.
If the people you work with get you, then they deserve you. If they don't get you, they don't deserve you. It's that simple!
You deserve a job that brings out the best in you, not just a job that pays your bills. I don't want you to work in a place that crushes your spirit.
Your spirit is a huge part of you. If you can't be yourself at work, they couldn't pay you enough to make that trade-off worthwhile.
I don't say that to make you feel bad about your current job but rather to inspire you to look higher, because you deserve more than just a paycheck. You have gifts that you use at work and maybe other gifts that no one gets to see.
What kind of work would let you use more of your gifts and bring more of yourself to your job? What kind of work would celebrate the parts of you that make you who you are, instead of stifling them?
Any artificial barrier that we once believed existed between our work and our 'real' life was only a facade. The notion that work is prim and formal while home life is warm and breezy is just part of the same tired Godzilla structure that still powers many organizations.
It's made up. We don't have to do business in the old-fashioned, crusty, dusty way. We can be human at work now. We deserve to be ourselves at work, and our customers and shareholders deserve to encounter us at our mojofied best!
There is nothing inherent in work or business that makes it formal, stiff and grey. Work can be lively and stimulating. It must be! Human power organized around a mission is the strongest force on earth.
We can bring ourselves completely to work and make art every day in any job, but to do that we have to give up blaming other people or the world for our difficulties.
"I'm too old" or "I have the wrong education" or "My last boss was a jerk" act like very short-term band-aids for our bruised egos.
Most of us have experienced getting angry and lashing out when we are frustrated at work or on a job search -- but we know that when we blame other people and phantom enemies for our difficulties, we aren't operating at our highest altitude.
Once we start looking at the question "What do I want in my life and my career?" and stop blaming people and circumstances for our challenges, we can get the altitude we need to see the landscape and our path clearly.
From altitude you can see, for instance, how your nasty former boss Doris turned out to be a great teacher. Doris helped you find your voice. You had never spoken up for yourself before you worked for Doris.
She could be difficult sometimes. A couple of times Doris started to go off on you about something she was unhappy with at work, and you gently stopped her. You spoke your truth and Doris backed up.
She brought out confidence and truth-telling in you that had been dormant before. Doris was a great mentor, as difficult as her lessons were to receive.
From an altitude we can see the obstacles to our success, down on the ground.
We can see that the barriers we have created won't be hard to knock down, tunnel under or sail over. It will take a little courage, but you are courageous -- look at the barriers you've surmounted in your life already!
If you haven't thought about your career and your life from altitude before, now is a great time to do it. Pick a time when you can think without distractions and bring a pen and a journal.
Think about your life so far and your goals for the rest of your life. Think about yourself at work on a project that supports your mission and fits into your life. The exercise is fun - and challenging!
Write about what you want from your life -- what you want to leave behind you here on our planet. What do you want to accomplish, experience and contribute while you are alive?
If you could step into your perfect job or career situation tomorrow, what would that job be? Write about it. Write in as much detail as you can.
Reinvention is sometimes scary. Many people in reinvention say "I'll stick with what I know" even when it's obvious that the ground has shifted and their path lies elsewhere.
Change can make us anxious. One way we push the anxiety away is to put up barriers and say "Look at the barrier! I can't make a change -- it's impossible!"
Your success relies on your ability to say "I know what I want, I'm going to keep trying things and keep learning to pursue my mission, and I take responsibility for everything that has happened to me up to this point."
You can't make anything -- other people's opinions of you, your own fears, your financial situation or your education or your age -- bigger than you are.
You can't give your power away to shadowy bogeymen like Age Discrimination or Bad Recruiters -- not if you want to take control of your life and career.
Rather than tick off the reasons you don't have the life you want, you can go and get it!
When you take control of your life and career, you'll say "This spot where I stand right now is exactly where I'm supposed to be. Everything that has happened so far was supposed to go just the way it did. I'm in charge of my life and I am on my path."
When you take responsibility for every decision you've ever made, for your present work and life situation and for every challenge and obstacle in your way, you're going to see right away how liberating an act it is.
You'll say "Yes!" to things you'd always said "No!" to before.
You'll see that taking any step for the first time is only scary for a second, like your first jump or dive off the high dive.
The instant your feet leave the diving board, you're aloft in thin air and the fear is gone. In any case, it's too late! You're diving, or belly-flopping, from the high dive and you're in the moment. Then you're in the water swimming and saying "I want to do that again!"
Real life works the same way.
It's only new ground once. When you try everything that might teach you anything, change your views or your habits in every imaginable way and open yourself up to new influences, your career will move forward.
Your learning will accelerate and broaden. Your mind will wander more expansively than it is does now. You'll think about your own possibilities differently.
First you'll think differently, and then you'll take steps. "Hard work" in the sense of throwing your shoulder to the wheel because somebody told you to has little place in business success today.
Hard work pushing somebody else's agenda doesn't get you brownie points, job security or even credibility as a businessperson these days.
Committed, step-by-step movement toward your own mission on the other hand won't feel like work and will speed you down your path.
You can succeed in business or anything you want to pursue. You can have the career and life you want. No one stands between you and your vision but if you want to drive your life and career, you have to grab the wheel.

KINGSMITH.

How To Use Failure To Your Advantage By Dr. Travis Bradberry.

Dr. Travis Bradberry

One of the biggest roadblocks to success is the fear of failure. Fear of failure is worse than failure itself because it condemns you to a life of unrealized potential.
A successful response to failure is all in your approach. In a study recently published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, researchers found that success in the face of failure comes from focusing on results (what you hope to achieve), rather than trying not to fail. While it’s tempting to try and avoid failure, people who do this fail far more often than those who optimistically focus on their goals.

“Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” –Winston Churchill

This sounds rather easy and intuitive, but it’s very hard to do when the consequences of failure are severe. The researchers also found that positive feedback increased people’s chances of success because it fueled the same optimism you experience when focusing solely on your goals.
The people who make history—true innovators—take things a step further and see failure as a mere stepping stone to success. Thomas Edison is a great example. It took him 1,000 tries to develop a light bulb that actually worked. When someone asked him how it felt to fail 1,000 times, he said, “I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.”
That attitude is what separates the successes from the failures. Thomas Edison isn’t the only one. J. K. Rowling’s manuscript for Harry Potter was only accepted after twelve publishers denied it, and even then she was only paid a nominal advance. Oprah Winfrey lost her job as a Baltimore news anchor for becoming too emotionally involved in her stories, a quality that became her trademark. Henry Ford lost his financial backers twice before he was able to produce a workable prototype of an automobile. The list goes on and on.

“If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.” –Henry Ford

So, what separates the people who let their failures derail them from those who use failure to their advantage? Some of it comes down to what you do, and the rest comes down to what you think.
The actions you take in the face of failure are critical to your ability to recover from it, and they have huge implications for how others view you and your mistakes. There are five actions you must take when you fail that will enable you to succeed in the future and allow others to see you positively in spite of your failure.
Break the bad news yourself. If you’ve made a mistake, don’t cross your fingers and hope that no one will notice, because someone is going to—it’s inevitable. When someone else points out your failure, that one failure turns into two. If you stay quiet, people are going to wonder why you didn’t say something, and they’re likely to attribute this to either cowardice or ignorance.
Offer an explanation, but don’t make excuses. Owning your mistakes can actually enhance your image. It shows confidence, accountability, and integrity. Just be sure to stick to the facts. “We lost the account because I missed the deadline” is a reason. “We lost the account because my dog was sick all weekend and that made me miss the deadline” is an excuse.
Have a plan for fixing things. Owning up to a mistake is one thing, but you can’t end it there. What you do next is critical. Instead of standing there, waiting for someone else to clean up your mess, offer your own solutions. It’s even better if you can tell your boss (or whomever) the specific steps that you’ve already taken to get things back on track.
Have a plan for prevention. In addition to having a plan for fixing things, you should also have a plan for how you’ll avoid making the same mistake in the future. That’s the best way to reassure people that good things will come out of your failure.
Get back on the horse. It’s important that you don’t let failure make you timid. That’s a mindset that sucks you in and handicaps you every time you slip up. Take enough time to absorb the lessons of your failure, and as soon as you’ve done that, get right back out there and try again. Waiting only prolongs bad feelings and increases the chance that you’ll lose your nerve.
Your attitude when facing failure is just as important as the actions you take. Using failure to your advantage requires resilience and mental strength, both hallmarks of emotional intelligence. When you fail, there are three attitudes you want to maintain.
Perspective is the most important factor in handling failure. People who are skilled at rebounding after failure are more likely to blame the failure on something that they did—the wrong course of action or a specific oversight—rather than something that they are. People who are bad at handling failure tend to blame failure on their laziness, lack of intelligence, or some other personal quality, which implies that they had no control over the situation. That makes them more likely to avoid future risk-taking.
Optimism is another characteristic of people who bounce back from failure. One British study of 576 serial entrepreneurs found that they were much more likely to expect success than entrepreneurs who gave up after their first failure. That sense of optimism is what keeps people from feeling like failure is a permanent condition. Instead, they tend to see each failure as a building block to their ultimate success because of the learning it provides.
Persistence. Optimism is a feeling of positivity; persistence is what you do with it. It’s optimism in action. When everybody else says, “Enough is enough” and decides to quit and go home, persistent people shake off those failures and keep going. Persistent people are special because their optimism never dies. This makes them great at rising from failure.
Bringing It All Together
Failure is a product of your perspective. What one person considers a crushing defeat, another sees as a minor setback. The beauty is that you can change how you see failure so that you can use it to better yourself.
KINGSMITH.

What My Boss Taught Me about Leadership By Colin Shaw.

Let me set the scene. My career was plateauing. I had done well, but things had started to get a bit stale. Then, I had a meeting/interview with Neil Hobbs. Neil would have the biggest impact on my professional life.
Neil had a reputation of being a tough boss. He set high standards and expected people to achieve them. He didn’t suffer fools gladly. I was nervous. The meeting went well. I told Neil what I thought about the organization both good and bad. And it seemed to hit the right chord--Neil offered me the role of running Marketing then and there.
To say I felt surprised would be an understatement.
After working for him for a while, I realized Neil spotted hidden talent in people, talent they didn’t see themselves. I was no exception; he saw something in me I didn't see myself. He gave me the confidence to express myself and encouraged me to take risks. It turned out to be the break and the environment I needed to find my stride as a leader.
Neil wasn’t an easy boss as he was demanding, and rightly so. He was tough, but in a good way. He removed me from my comfort zone. He set high standards and expected me to deliver. He forced me to do my best work, and never accepted anything less than my best effort. His style of management was inclusive, but also you knew who was boss. He had an ethos of debate and then decision. His phrase (which I often use today) was, “Once we agree, we do.”
But let me be clear: to the outside world he was a tough businessman. To his team, on the other hand, he was protective, understanding, and loyal. He would put his neck on the line for you.
I remember on one occasion I had taken a risk and things had gone wrong. He didn’t chastise me but instead applauded me for trying. Then, he went out of his way to protect me, putting himself in harm’s way politically as he did so. As a result, I would have walked over hot coals for Neil.
He took great pleasure in seeing the people he spotted moved on to bigger and better things. He moved me from Marketing to Customer Service, which was quite a surprise for people. This position, incidentally, set me on the path to Customer Experience.
Despite his tough exterior, there was nothing he wouldn’t do for one of his team. He was exceptionally loyal and protective of everyone. These traits inspired loyalty from his team. In some ways, you could say he established a cult. Now I realize the word cult normally has a negative connotation, but it can be good. In other words, if you were a square peg, Neil made sure you were in a square hole.
Key things I learned from Neil:

• Take a risk on people; it can pay huge dividends.
• Be fanatically loyal to your team.
• Be approachable.
• Be demanding and push people to do their best work.
• Build a ‘cult’ in your team.
• Think outside the square.

To this day, I believe a great part of what success I have, is down to Neil for which I thank him. I hear him in the back of my head when I am managing my team or presenting to an audience or listening to a client. I ask myself what Neil would do when faced with a tough decision. I hear him questioning my reasoning when I argue a point with myself. His wisdom, fierce loyalty, and demanding demeanor shaped me into the leader I am today. I can only hope to live up to his estimations of my ability and be the leader he always believed I could be.
KINGSMITH.

10 Habits To Be Happier and More Productive By James Altucher.

What a goddamn shitty title. That's the sort of BS that is everywhere on the Internet these days.
Like, someone gets on a pedestal and teaches people how to be happier and then that same person goes to a motel owned by killers and smoke crack with hookers.
Then go to their kids school plays. I know. I've seen it.
People are often happy when something happens outside of themselves that they pre-judged would be "good".
Like: having more money, or having the object of your infatuation fall in love with you. Or getting that big career boost. Or having that lawsuit be over. Or getting out of that relationship you got "stuck" in.
I don't judge. That's fine. But all of that comes and goes. What if the infatuation doesn't like you? Are you then sad? I know I get sad.
We live in the light of a fucking STAR in the middle of the galaxy and we have the nerve to be sad if someone doesn't kiss us back.
Ok, I've been there. I've had that nerve. She didn't kiss back. She said, "I have to go to the bathroom and then I never saw her again."
I want to be my own star. I want the nuclear fusion to come from inside of me. Then I know I can do anything I want.
That doesn't mean: walk on Mars or have 10 private jets. I don't want those.
I just want to do anything I want to do. Freedom. Is this selfish? Maybe it is. Some people think it is. I don't kill people with my freedom. But still...some people correctly think it's selfish.
And what is productivity? It's getting things done in less time. Why should this matter? Because then I have time to do what I want.
Freedom again.
Here's what I do:
WANT LESS
The fewer things I want, the more I love what I have.
SAY NO
Steve Jobs used to ask his man designer Jonny Ive (the designer of your iPhone), "how many times did you say No today?"
DO A LITTLE OF SOMETHING I LOVE A LOT
I love to write. I love to talk to friends. I love to kiss and to hug. I love to read and to laugh. Oh, and I love to play games.
And maybe that's about it. It's nice to make money. But I don't necessarily love it. I lose money also. I don't love that either.
If every day i do a little of something I love a lot, then I feel like inside I'm growing.
A tiny leaf that might grow into a beautiful plant. And then the plant drops more seeds on the ground and more plants grow.
I don't even fucking know what I'm talking about. Do plants even drop seeds? Or is that flowers?
Are plants flowers? Or are they vegetables. Where is Doctor Science when you need her.
READ AN ARCHIVE
Here's what I do each day. Find a blog from someone interesting. Read a post at least a year or five or six years old.
If it's a good post. I send a note and say, "That was a good post".
The archives of yesterday are the secrets of today.
Because people are very busy and they forget and nobody read that old article in the first place.
So I learn something new at the same time I send a nice note to someone at the same time I find material to steal for myself for later.
I plant a seed (see above).
I DO WHAT YOU CAN'T DO
Most people have their own rules about what you can't do.
You can't start two businesses at once. You can't have a certain opinion.
You can't make a movie without experience. You can't start a business with no experience. You can't fall in love with someone "out of your league".
You can't call the President and ask him to be on your podcast. You can't run a marathon without preparing.
I like to do those things. And you know what? Most people are right. I can't do them.
But sometimes people are wrong.
I OVER DELIVER
Give people what they deserve, not what they expect.
Most people have been served shit all of their lives and told, "this is the way it is. Deal with it."
One time I asked for a bonus at job. I knew the bonus was available. But my boss decided to give himself extra. Out of my bonus.
"Welcome to the real world," he said when I asked what happened.
That's not the real world. That's the fear world.
Where people are afraid of running out of things. People are afraid that the world is over unless they take what they can.
Give what you can. Give until you are left with nothing. And even when you are left with nothing, find more to give. You can make someone laugh, even though you started with nothing.
Why does over delivering make me more happy and productive? I have no idea. I do it and it works.
SING, PAINT, LAUGH, WRITE, CELEBRATE
A friend of mine stuttered. But when he sang he didn't stutter.
How come? Because it's two different parts of the brain. Most of the time, we don't activate many parts of the brain.
We activate the part that gets us to the factory, gets us the hammer, and hammers the nail all day long, and then goes home.
I understand. That's what I do most of the time also.
But I like to make my brain super powerful. So I like to do things that activate parts of my brain that are usually dormant and atrophied.
What are the new things you can do that will wake up parts of you that have been long dead.
Welcome to life outside the Matrix.
SHOULDN'T
There are a lot of things you should think, do, feel, believe. We're told all of our lives what is "good" and what is "bad".
Some of those things are political. Some are emotional. Some are religious. Some are taught us so were can fit in and "play well with others".
None of those things are TRUE, in the sense that they are universal facts that are never wrong.
Ants don't care about elections. Elephants don't care about the after-life. Flowers don't care if they fit in with a crowd. They just want the warmth of the sun to kiss them.
I'm not saying, "don't love your family". Or "don't care about nuclear waste".
Just double-check who programmed you. It's ok for you to rewrite the program that makes your brain run every day.
The other day I wrote about why people shouldn't buy houses.
I got some funny comments. One woman said, "James makes some good points here but, anyway, I hate James."
Ok, she is allowed to. Part of the fun for me is getting those comments and telling myself it doesn't matter. Do they hurt? Every single time. But I know it's also foolish to think about it for even a split second.
Feels like practice.
All of the above feels like practice.
Practice for what? I don't know. It doesn't make happy or productive to think about it.
Ugh, there are more things. Like: brush your teeth. Or: sleep more. Or: breathe deep.
I'm going to take a deep breath. I'm scared. Later today and then later this week I have to give a talk. I'm scared of people and talks.
Good thing is: in 10,000 years all of human society will probably be dead and nobody will ever care other than the aliens who are reading the archives.
Kim, I don't know why you hate me. But I can't control you into liking me.

KINGSMITH.

13 Things Wayne Dyer Personally Taught Me By Jmes Altucher.

I was scared to death. Wayne Dyer was going to come on my podcast. I read about ten of his books. I watched five or six of his PBS specials.

The man has sold over 150 million books. He's inspired millions. He's already given 100s of interviews. What could I possibly ask him?

I watched other interviews with him. I even spoke to his daughter about him.

I wanted to be ready. I didn't want to ask the same questions everyone else was asking.

"You have to interrupt him," Claudia told me, "or he will keep on talking." So probably the first thing is: I learned how to interrupt people.

Afterwards, the guy who did the audio for the podcast said to me, "That was unbelievably inspiring." And then he quit his job.

Wayne Dyer has worn many hats. He's been a therapist, a professor, a writer, a PBS fundraiser, to many a spiritual leader.

I have no idea what he is. I think he wore many hats because in an interesting life, you do many interesting things.

The dots don't always have to connect.

To me he is the ultimate "Choose Yourself-er".

He started out dirt poor, an orphan coming out of foster homes. He went to school, got his PhD, became a professor, and was so loved by his students he reached tenure by age 35, in 1975.

Do you know what tenure is? It means the school has to pay you for the rest of your life. It means you never have to worry about a job or money again. You're set.

So what did he do then?

He quit.

He had written a book "Your Erroneous Zones" and it failed in his eyes. It had sold 5000 copies. When a book sells 5000 copies the publisher typically wipes their hands clean (they have made a tidy profit) and says, "Ok, on to the next one."

That wasn't good enough. He didn't want a publisher to choose whether he was a success or not.

He quit his 100% safe job. Everyone said he was crazy and begged him not to.

He bought out the rest of the inventory of books from his publisher and put them in the trunk of his station wagon.

With his nine year old daughter sitting next to him he drove all over the country, from bookstore to bookstore, begging them to take his books.

You choose yourself one choice at a time. You choose yourself every day. You choose yourself with all of your fears and hopes mixed together and nobody knows what's going to happen.

But if you do it with a sense of mission, a belief in your vision, what happens may not be what you expect, but you will never say, "I wonder what would have happened?"

He has sold over 100 million books since then.

Before I did the podcast I spoke about Wayne Dyer to a friend of mine who I thought would be very skeptical. My friend is the CEO of a $200 million in revenues a year company.

"Wayne Dyer is like a hero to me," he said and I was curious why.

"Think of it this way: he's done 10 specials raising money for PBS. He's raised over $150 million for PBS."

That is impressive, I said.

"Yes, but that's not the point. PBS runs those pledge shows over and over. And PBS has higher ratings than all of the broadcast channels combined.

Think about how much airtime and free advertising Wayne Dyer got for himself by doing those shows."

I don't think that's why Dyer did those shows but it's interesting the perspective. There's nothing wrong with raising money, inspiring millions, and also helping yourself, is what the CEO was pointing out to me.

If you go to my recent podcast list, the podcast is about two episodes ago.

Here's 13 things Wayne Dyer told me that every day I learn from:

A) DO WORK YOU BELIEVE IN SO MUCH YOU'D GO TO JAIL FOR IT.

When Your Erroneous Zones came out it was banned in all of the countries behind the Iron Curtain. So Dr. Dyer smuggled copies into Prague. That’s how much he believed in the message he was spreading.

B) LOOK AT YOUR LIFE FROM A DISTANCE.

Dr. Dyer grew up in an orphanage, an incredibly hard experience and one that many people might not be able to overcome.

But difficult experiences are what sculpt the soul. Now he's thankful, he told me, for those experiences.

C) GO TO THE PEOPLE.

At the beginning of his career, someone told Dr. Dyer “The only way to reach everyone in America is by getting on a nationally syndicated TV show.”

"No matter how many times he contacted the big shows, they rejected me every time."

So he packed his car full of books and drove across the whole country to connect with people face-to-face.

Today everyone wants to “go viral.” They want the internet to make them an overnight success. But sometimes you just need to work insanely hard and go to the people. One at a time, face-to-face.

"Viral" often is a disease you want to get rid of. But "connection" can lead to lifelong benefits.

D) “ARRANGE WHATEVER PIECES COME YOUR WAY”

He said everyone today is so eager to blame their situation on the stock market or the economy.

But whatever meager resources you have, make it work for you. Find a way to move forward.

He said that since he was 9 years old he’s never been unemployed, even if it meant he had to carry bags of groceries at the supermarket for a nickel.

The key to an enriched life is having a burning desire. Wayne says that you must “have an inner flame that no matter what goes before you it never flickers.” This desire will enable you to seize every opportunity and create the life you want to live.

Don’t let someone tell you you can’t do XYZ because there’s no money in it.

"People used to tell me 'Don’t be a teacher, you can’t make any money doing it.' ," he told me.

But now he says he’s a teacher with the largest classroom and the most amount of students.

Every day, don't try to jump into another box. Just try to think a little bit more outside of the box society has put you in.

E) ALWAYS TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN LIFE.

Wayne says that If something isn’t working in his life he always tells himself “It must be because I haven’t used enough determination or I haven’t been fearless enough or I haven’t been willing to do whatever it takes to make it happen.”

He never lets himself make any excuses. Because even if there is an external explanation, he can’t control external factors. He can only control himself.

F) “LEAVE YOURSELF OPEN TO WHATEVER COMES UP”

On June 26, 2013, Wayne announced to his whole family that he was done writing books.

He explained in great detail why he felt like that chapter of his life was done.

Then on June 27th he started writing his next book! He had 100% intended to be done with books, but when he felt the urge to start writing that morning he embraced it.

Rather than resisting and forcing his own plans, he accepted what came his way and let it direct him.

G) WE ARE 'DOOMED' TO MAKE OUR CHOICES.

There are somethings that we can’t change. Our hardwiring, our bodies, our physical limitations.

But within that framework we have the power to make choices. We choose how to use the resources we were given.

Improving (or not improving) 1% a day is not even noticeable. That's why it's so easy for people to say, "nothing is happening" and inadvertently cost their lives 1% a day. Focus on that 1% improvement and everything changes.

H) HOW TO FIND YOUR LIFE PURPOSE.

You might be saying “OK James, a bunch of these lessons are about following your purpose, but what if I don’t know what mine is?!”

Wayne asked “What’s the difference between good and God?”

The answer is “o”. Not just ‘oh’ but ‘zero.’

So whatever makes you feel good, whatever energizes you and lights you up inside, that’s God. That’s God telling you that that’s what you are meant to be doing.

I don't believe that anyone has one purpose in life. And I don't like attaching any one religious philosophy to being content in life.

But I like the idea of taking that "zero" and filling it up, if only for today, with something you love.

I) “SELL YOUR CLEVERNESS AND CREATE A SENSE OF AWE.”

Life is a gift. Don’t let your ego get in the way of fully experiencing and appreciating it.

When we were kids, we laughed and asked question. When we're adults, we cry and shout answers.

Sometimes it's good to feel like a kid again, even at age 75.

J) "THE #1 REGRET OF THE DYING IS 'I WISH I HAD THE COURAGE TO LIVE THE LIFE I WANTED RATHER THAN DOING WHAT OTHERS WANTED OF ME."

It’s hard living the life you want. It requires determination and strength and wisdom and fearlessness. And those are all difficult things.

You only find the alternative waiting for you on your deathbed.

K) ENLIGHTENMENT.

Not in a woo-woo, intangible way with no connection to the real world. Too many people try to scam with that word.

"Enlightenment is all about improving your relationships. Being more loving with your spouse. Being more patient with your children. The quest for enlightenment is about improving your daily life in real ways."

L) "THERE ARE 3 WAYS TO ENLIGHTENMENT"

1) Suffering: reflecting on pain in the past and learning from it;

2) Being present: learning from what you’re going through right now;

3) “Getting out front”: being proactive rather than reactive.

M) "THERE IS A SECRET GARDEN WITHIN US".

No matter what happens in the world around us, no matter what happens to us, there is a place inside of you where you are 100% in control of what happens.

"Maybe you can’t control the terrible things that happen to you, but you’re in control of how you respond."

You’re in control of your feelings and your own happiness. That’s not to say that it’s not incredibly difficult, but the point is that NO ONE ELSE has the power over your mindset. "Inside your chest, you are sovereign."

---

I was sort of in a glow after the interview. I was excited. I felt like doing a podcast was the right thing. I wasn't sure until then.

Maybe most of all I learned from one thing he said to me towards the end:

"Are you willing to do whatever it takes to make the thing that excites you come true. Are you fearless?"

I'll be honest: I don't know. Sometimes it's very hard. Sometimes crisis hits and you can't move.

I think that's ok. Sometimes you have to take a rest to re-energize.

But I have a faith that his final words to me are the trick:

"Come from a place of compassion and love".

KINGSMITH

The Secret of Personal Power By Deepak Chopra.

The Secret of Personal Power

Personal power is a popular concept and an elusive reality. In a previous post I wrote about the three kinds of personal power (the power of influence, the power of leadership, and the power of competence), but looking back, this may have put the cart before the horse. We need to know, “What is personal power itself?” Is there a reason some people have it , seemingly without effort, while others can seek it for years without success?
I believe the secret of personal power lies in one thing: the ability to manifest your inner world. Powerful people create the situations where their beliefs, aspirations, ambition, and abilities mesh. There is a seamless connection between the life they experience "in here" and what is happening simultaneously "out there." This mirroring effect is part of the world's wisdom traditions, but let me discuss it in contemporary terms.
No one can say how it happens that events "in here" become manifest "out there." But even without an explanation, it's self-evident that some people actualize their deepest desires. To say that they "create" the result they want isn't quite accurate. The creative action is performed in consciousness alone. This is the insight that wisdom traditions have reinforced for centuries, that consciousness can manifest anything it wants. So why doesn't it? Why do some people experience the spontaneous fulfillment of their desires while others appear to be hapless and without power?
The answers lie in each person's awareness. Imagine that instead of being a special, or even magical, ability, the connection between reality "in here" and reality "out there" is a natural aspect of consciousness. This implies that the mirroring effect--where what you experience on the inside is pictured forth on the outside--is occurring all the time. If this is so, then personal power can be explained more easily.

Personal power increases when:

You remove the inner obstacles and resistance that block the connection between "in here" and "out there."
You have clarity of purpose and intention.
You have first-hand experience of the silent depth of the mind.
You exchange allegiance to the ego for allegiance to self-awareness.
You understand that consciousness is impersonal and universal.
You stop struggling and allow awareness to carry out your intentions through its own mechanics.
You surrender ego-based needs like the need to control, to be right all the time, to win under every circumstance, etc.
You are open-minded and develop a sense of detachment so that awareness can expand.
You turn your core beliefs into actions that those beliefs support.
These are traits of personal power expressed as skills that can be learned. No one has control over your awareness. You can choose to live with expanded awareness or constricted awareness. If you choose expanded awareness, then the actions listed here will start to come naturally, and personal power will follow. On the other hand, any step taken toward constricted awareness will act against personal power.
KINGSMITH.